Pieces of My Mind

My fam knows what this is about.....

2010-05-12T18:53:00.001-04:00

N*NA S*MONE DISCOGRAPHY

Total Size: 5.4 GB

Album list:
01 - Bethlehem period (1957-1959, 3 albums):
[1957] - Nina Simone - Little Girl Blue [256vbr][1958]
[1958] - Nina Simone - Jazz As Played In An Exclusive Side Street Club [MPC]
[1959] - Nina Simone - Nina Simone And Her Friends [160cbr]
02 - Colpix period (1959-1964, 10 albums):
[1959] - Nina Simone - The Amazing Nina Simone+Bonus [320vbr]
[1959] - NS - The Amazing NS - NS at Town Hall [320vbr]
[1960] - Nina Simone - Nina At Newport [192cbr]
[1961] - Nina Simone - Forbidden Fruit [192cbr]
[1961] - Nina Simone - Nina Simone Live At The Village Gate [192cbr]
[1962] - Nina Simone - Nina Sings Ellington [192cbr]
[1963] - Nina Simone - Nina Simone At Carnegie Hall [192cbr]
[1963] - Nina Simone - Nina's Choice [128cbr]
[1964-1966] - Nina Simone - Folksy Nina - Nina with Strings [320vbr]
03 - Philips period (1964-1967, 7 albums):
[1964] - Nina Simone - Broadway Blues Ballads [224vbr]
[1964] - Nina Simone - In Concert [256vbr]
[1965] - Nina Simone - I Put A Spell On You [192cbr]
[1965-1966] - Nina Simone - Pastel Blues And Let It All Out [320vbr]
[1966] - Nina Simone - Wild Is the Wind AND High Priestes [320vbr]
04 - RCA period (1967-1974, 9 albums):
[1967] - Nina Simone - Nina Simone Sings the Blues [256vbr]
[1967] - Nina Simone - Silk & Soul [192vbr]
[1968] - Nina Simone - 'Nuff Said! [320cbr]
[1969] - Nina Simone - Nina Simone And Piano [192vbr]
[1969-1971] - Nina Simone - To Love Somebody and Here Comes The Sun [320vbr]
[1970] - Nina Simone - Black Gold [256vbr]
[1972-1974] - Nina Simone Emergency Ward & It Is Finished [320vbr]
05 - European Years from 1975:
[1978] - Nina Simone - Baltimore [256vbr]
[1982] - Nina Simone - Fodder On My Wings [320cbr]
[1985] - Nina Simone - Nina's Back [192cbr]
[1986] - Nina Simone - My Baby Just Cares For Me [MPC]
[1987] - Nina Simone - Let It Be Me (Live at Vine St.) [256vbr]
[1993] - Nina Simone - A Single Woman [192cbr]
06 - Nina Simone Lives, Bootlegs & Remixes:
[1968] - Nina Simone - The Great Show Live in Paris [128cbr]
[1969] - Nina Simone - A Very Rare Evening [WMA128cbr]
[1977] - Nina Simone - Theatre Royal, London, England [256vbr]
[1985] - Nina Simone - Live at Ronnie Scotts-(DVD-AUD)
[1990] - Nina Simone - Madame, Live In Montreux [160cbr]
[2002] - Nina Simone - Funkier Than A Mosquito's Tweeter [Jazzman 7''] [192cbr]
[2003] - Nina Simone - How True [Vinyl] [192vbr]
[2003] - Nina Simone - Sinnerman Felix Da Housecat Mix [VLS] [192cbr]
[2006] - Nina Simone - Ain't Got No, I Got Life [UK Promo CDM] [224vbr]
[2006] - Nina Simone - Remixed And Reimagined [256vbr]
[2006] - Nina Simone - Remixes One - Promo Vinyl [Dj James] [224vbr]
07 - Nina Simone Featured & Tributes:
[1989] - Pete Townshend - The Iron Man [320cbr]
[1990] - Maria Bethania - Canto Do Paje (Song of The Shaman) [160cbr]
[1991] - Miriam Makeba - Eyes on Tomorrow [192cbr]
[1993] - Nina Simone & Hans Zimmer - Point Of No Return [192cbr]
[2002] - N'Dambi - Tunin Up & Cosignin [192cbr]
[2003] - The Walkabouts - Slow Days With Nina [192cbr]
08 - Nina Simone Relevant Compilations:
[1969] - Nina Simone - Suzanne [192cbr]
[1969] - Nina Simone - The Best Of Nina Simone [320vbr]
[1971] - Nina Simone - Ne Me Quitte Pas [192vbr]
[1989] - Nina Simone - The Best Of Nina Simone [RCA] [320cbr]
[1993] - Nina Simone - The Best Of The Colpix Years [256cbr]
[1994] - Nina Simone - Feeling Good-The Very Best Of, [256abr]
[1994] - Nina Simone - The Rising Sun Collection [192cbr]
[1994] - Nina Simone - The Tomato Collection [192vbr]
[1995] - Nina Simone - After Hours [192cbr]
[1995] - Nina Simone - Private collection [160cbr]
[1998] - Nina Simone - Reflections [320vbr]
[1998] - Nina Simone - The Very Best of, - Sugar in My Bowl 1967-1972 [2CD] [256cbr]
[1999] - Nina Simone - Ne Me Quitte Pas [192cbr]
[2000] - Nina Simone - Angel Of The Morning [128cbr]
[2000] - Nina Simone - Quiet Now-Night Song [192vbr]
[2003] - Nina Simone - Gin House Blues (Nina Simone In Concert) [160cbr]
[2003] - Nina Simone - Sings Billie Holiday [256cbr]
[2005] - Nina Simone - I Maestri Del Blues Collection [224vbr]

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Dear Atlanta...

2010-03-22T07:59:00.001-04:00

Man, fuck this city.

yeah, I said it.

I don't even see a drop, a smidget, a spec of pollen and muhphucka, I look like Will Smith in Hitch. My face is all swollen, my eyes are red and damn near shut with mucus and shitnot.

phuck atlanta.

I don't like where I stay...I'ma fly away (C) kae-lo "NO" goodie.

i can't swallow, i'm irritable and did i mention that of all things to be allergic to, i'm allergic to GRASS. Yeah, you read that right G-R-A-S-S... GRASS, muhphucka...grass is err'where on this gotdayum city. I've been pill poppin' and even had an allergy shot last week but .....

damn it ain't no phuckin' but....I'm dying and it's my city's fault.

I need a true concrete jungle with no plants and what not.

And it's just not my city that's killin' me...its my son. How do you tell a four yr old, that it's 70 degrees outside, sun shining, birds chirping, kites flying, that y'all are the only muhphuckas on the planet that can't go outside cuz daddy's insurance doesn't provide a plastic bubble suit for him to walk around outside in.

So yeah, even though I knew it would cause me symptoms that would make me almost welcome death with open arms, I drove his lil' tail to Grant Park, fought through the watery and tearing eyes, the sniffles and the wheezing so he could be amongst other active kids and non-allergy suffering parents.

*Dear God, I'm kidding' about welcomin' death and what not...my sarcasm doesn't carry over well in the written form. Please note that statement was a joke...you know the hee-hee, ha-ha kind*

If y'all don't suffer from allergies just know that I hope you die young and of unusual and questionable circumstances...And if you do have allergies, I give you my heart but not my Benadryl and other allergy drugs.

*hits post message and staying in the house until May*

Will one of y'all muhphuckas bring me a Vanilla Coke, please?

Fishgrease Fisits Fillydelphia

2010-03-06T09:28:00.002-05:00

This is footage of my recent voyage to Philly, PA.

~fin

OKP Boho Cinema

2010-02-20T07:07:00.001-05:00

Medicine For Melancholy is the story of two African-American twenty-somethings who wake up in bed together having no recollection of how they arrived there. From the appearance of things it's clear they've had sex. Then, an exercise in the mundane: they dress; neither has a toothbrush, find themselves side by side at the sink, thumbing toothpaste across their gums; decide to have a cup of coffee at a nearby café; sit together then, while awaiting service, realize neither knows the other's name; introduce; cab for the trip home-"across town" each says to the other of where they live-share this cab, the girl (Jo') dropped off first; shake hands, part ways. Hours later, the guy (Micah) shows up at her apartment. She left her purse on the backseat. There's a connection. They give themselves over to it. Wandering the streets of San Francisco on a Sunday afternoon, the pair take in the sights of the city less seen in today's cinema-the gloriously appointed Museum of African Diaspora, Yuerba Buena Gardens and its sprawling blend of civil rights memorials, wide lawns and tea gardens, the fabulous excess of the St. Regis hotel. As day gives way to night and their heads swirl further with the euphoria of pleasures both physical and intellectual, the immediacy of their previous physical encounter leads them to explore each other in a succession of moments so intimate the vulnerability they share changes them forever. By the time these two part ways is it literally a "brand new day."

All good things must come to an end...

2010-02-16T10:19:00.000-05:00

The title of this entry rings painfully true. I am now sitting in the
Philly Int'l Airport waiting for my departure back to familiar
territory (aka Atlanta). I must say that this weekend has been a
blast all due to my greatful host (who also serves as my long term
crush and current (and possibly) final object of my affection.)

How stupid was it for me to bring a camera for the trip but barely use
it? I suppose that is just indicative that I was having way too much
fun to allow mere photo snapping to abruptly ruin the moment. Granted
I do not have physical pictures to share with the world but the mental
memories that are embeded in my mind will last me a lifetime.

This weekend I was able to learn alot about myself. The biggest self
realization happened to be that I am a closeted control freak. I
didn't do anything that I planned *FOR THE RECORD ,I didn't plan
anything but everyhing that we did I had no hand in organizing. Never
in my adult life have I ever gone somewhere and was driven around the
entire time. Giving up that sort of power damn near feminized me to a
point where my homeboy Kenny would have blurted out " N*gga, have you
gone faggot?" ( I swear he says this in real life),

Another thing I learned about myself is that i am completely
controlled and absorbed by the concept of time. I have to be the only
black person who plans out his whole day to the absolute milli-second.
Anyone that knows me can attest that I am up by 6 am and out my
6:30am, only to return home by noon. During that time I perform the
tasks and errands that a normal person wouldn't do until way later in
the day. Spending time with someone that operates on the provebial and
cliched Colored People Time is both annoying and pleasently welcomed
at the same time. I was forced to slow down and look at the world from
a free thinkers point of view. I realized that even when I don't have
things planned out, I still tend to have an iternirary, agenda, or
plan of action in my head. " Going with the flow" in my world consists
of traveling down channels and avenues already experienced whereas in
the realms of others the same phrase doesnt hold the same meaning... A
free spirit I am not. I live and thrive off of structure and
premediatated courses of action.

I managed to break all diet rules over the past few days... I ate out
more than I ever should have, spent more money than I care to mention
and had more fun doing it all than I can ever scribe on this here blog.

I have learned one valuable lesson and that is: FUN CAN NOT BE
MEASURED OR SCALED BUT IT SURE AS HELL CAN BE BRAGGED ABOUT (c)
kae.williams

I won't go into great details but I will say that I had an enjoyable
evening at the Four Seasons Hotel complete with a full body massage,
whirlpool jacuzzi, and a great Thai dinner.

Well family, I'll attempt to recap my entire weekend events in further
detail at a later time but the battery on this iPod Touch are dying
and I am currently on Delta Flight 1005 in route back to my humble
abode back in Atlanta.

~fin
LovePeace'nFishgrease

P.S.
To CDS, thanks and love for a great time

We are all born ignorant but one must work hard to remain stupid (c)
Benjamin Franklin

Waiting...

2010-02-13T16:14:00.000-05:00

Patience is indeed a virtue. Here I am waiting to board a plane after
countless mishaps, misfortunes and other obstacles. Life has a way of
making you slow down and re-evaluate everyhing. If i've learned
anything his week it's been that the dash that separates the date you
were born and the date that you die isn't meant to be breezed or
rushed through. God Johnson has made sure that I either take it all in
at a natural pace or die a sudden death trying to avoid it.

We are all born ignorant but one must work hard to remain stupid (c)
Benjamin Franklin

The end of an Era.

2010-02-06T01:46:00.001-05:00

My favorite magazine is coming to an end. This so happens to be a pic of my favorite issue which is from 2006 "The Black Issue".

R.I.P Metropolitan Home Magazine

I'm on hiatus...be back soon

2010-02-05T14:24:00.001-05:00

Fret not, I'm noy gone forever just taking a break to enjoy life so that i can further entertain you with my follies in life.

I'm bout to logo this picture.....

33 Questions For An Interview With Yourself

2010-02-02T08:58:00.000-05:00

33 Questions For An Interview With Yourself

1. What Do You Do For A Living?
You may not know what you’re really doing for a living. You may think you have a job, but you’re actually just selling your time. And that comes down to selling your life. And that means you’re living your life by selling it. And you may not even know that.

2. Who Do You Love?
Is that your partner? Or somebody else? Do you love many persons at once? Just answer as detailed as you can to this one. We never seem to have enough time do really think at the ones we love. We can’t love someone if we forget to think about him.

3. Do You Have Enough Money?
That’s a very important question. You may have less money than everyone else in your group, but still have enough. Or you may have huge amounts of money and yet not enough to make you feel better. How much money do you need in your life?

4. Are You Healthy?
You may be able to wake up every morning and go to work, but do you think at yourself as being a healthy person? The way you see your health has a huge impact on your reality perception. It’s like applying filters to what’s happening to you.

5. Do You Think You Are a Good Person?
Have you ever wandered what do you think about yourself from this point of view? Maybe we take it for granted that we are inherently good and all the other guys are wrong. But is this really true? Do you really think you are a good person? Why?

6. How Old Are You?
You shouldn’t just open your ID and do some math. It’s not the number of years since you’ve been born that matter here. But mostly how old do you feel you are. What’s your perceived age. Because, believe it or not, this is your real age.

7. Who’s Your Best Friend?
Do you have one? Is he or she still alive? Write his name and think at that person for a while. Write a short description of he or she. Where did you met first time? What were the circumstances? What makes that person your best friend, after all?

8. What’s Your Childhood Dream?
Do you still remember it? You wanted to travel the world? You wanted to just have a family and raise your kids? Is that what you’re doing right now? Has your dream become true? Or are you drifting away from it with every single day of your life?

9. How Often Do You Laugh?
Try to remember exactly how often do you laugh during a day. Is this a difficult thing? Why? Because you laugh so often that you couldn’t remember when was the last time you didn’t had a good laugh? Or because you simply forgot how it is to laugh?

10. What Makes You Smile?
List at least 10 items. If you can’t find 10 items that makes you smile, we have a problem. Don’t rush, take your time. Smiling is different from laughing the same way walking in the park is different from climbing a mountain. You’re just enjoying the walk.

11. Who’s Your Most Dangerous Enemy?
Do you have one? List his/her name here and a short story about how this enemy changed your life. Friends are making us do things for them, but enemies are making us do things because of them. Either way, they’re shaping our life and we must know how.

12. Where Do You Live?
Is this really your place? Do you feel at home there? How did you end up with it, anyway? The story of your house is deeply blended with your own life. Where do you feel at home is the most important place in the world for you. What makes it home?

13. Do You Think You’re Strong?
I would be really curious to know the answer to this one. I love strong people. They have this power to change their life and to create incredible things. What “strong” means to you? It’s a question of force? Or endurance? Of speed? Or intelligence?

14. What Was The Most Important Thing You’ve Done So Far?
Have you really done something important? Something that changed your life fundamentally? Or something that changed somebody else’s life fundamentally? Why was that important? Answer with first thing that pops out in your head.

15. What Was The Most Stupid Thing You’ve Done So Far?
Do you consider you’ve done stupid things in your life? I think everybody does but not everybody admits that. Most of the people blame the circumstance, the karma, the others, everyone except them. Do you have the power to accept you’ve done a really stupid thing?

16. Do You Love Yourself?
Like really, truly accepting everything about you. Does it happen to hate yourself? Most people do that without even being aware. Just answer the first thing that pops to your head, again. Usually, this is exactly how you feel about yourself.

17. What Do You Fear The Most?
That might be difficult. But also liberating. Your biggest fear is most of the time your escape door, if you face it with enough courage. Can you think at something that scares you really hard? Maybe answering to this question will really frighten you?

18. What Is Your Favorite Word?
You must have one, everybody does. It might be the one you’re saying all day long without realizing or it might be something that really makes you feel good when you’re telling it. Most of the time, there’s an unconscious link between your true self and this word.

19. When Was The Last Time You Cried?
Admit it. Everybody cries. Men, women, kids. It might be something you’re not very proud of, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happened. What was so powerful that really cracked you up inside? Think about it and let it emerge again. Make peace with it. If you can.

20. What Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?
In this exact context, what’s the only thing that could shift your entire existence if it will manifest right now? Many people tend to give a certain amount of money as a number, but in my experience this will only maximize the problems, not making them go away.

21. What Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?
Again, what’s the only thing that could negatively impact your life right now in a way that you wouldn’t believe it’s possible? Between those two possibilities lies your entire lifespan. How is this lifespan? How large is your road are you traveling now?

22. Picture Yourself In 5 Years From Now
Not really a question, but definitely an interesting answer. Can you see yourself in 5 years from now? How would you look? How would you behave? You would do the same things are you doing right now? Don’t write a full story, a single, concentrated sentence would be enough.

23. Do You Regret Anything?
If yes, what exactly? If not, why not. Regrets are usually strings we didn’t pull entirely from our past, leaving us tied up to a context which is not longer real. Facing your regrets will reveal parts of yourself you thought you forgot. Important parts of yourself.

24. What’s The First Thing You Do In The Morning?
Just after you open your eyes. Is it a thought? Is it a gesture? We all tend to create a morning routine and it seems that this routine is shaping our entire diurnal activity. Have you ever thought what is the first thing you do in the morning?

25. What Are You Thinking Just Before Going To Bed?
Similarly, before you go to bed, you do have preferred thought. What is it? What makes your transition to the sleeping world without any major frictions? What’s your password to the dream realm? What if you would lose this thought suddenly?

26. What Was The Highest Point You’ve Ever Been To?
Was it a mountain? Or a huge city tower? Whatever feels high for you should go there. I don’t want to know the difference from the sea level, but what exactly you experienced on the highest perceived point you’ve ever been? Fear? Exhilaration?

27. If There’s One Thing In Your Life You Want To Change Right Now, What Is It?
Imagine you met a fairy tale and you have only one wish: you could change only one thing in your life. What is that thing? How would you like to change it? If it wasn’t this absolute power you just received, would you still wanted that thing to be changed?

28. What Are You Proud Of?
What is the only thing you’ve done that will instantly make you feel totally and undeniably proud of yourself? When you did that? What were the circumstances? Would you still do the same thing now?

29. Sum Up Your Life In One Sentence
If in the next 10 seconds your life will end, how would you describe it? Just one sentence for your entire life. Can you do that? You only have 10 seconds, so you can consider this a speed question.

30. Name The Thing That Annoys You The Most
Is this a mosquito humming? The sounds of a knife on a porcelain plate? Or is it people calling you in a certain way? Friends breaking promises? Being stuck in traffic? Try to remain calm while answering.

31. What Is Your No 1 Question To God?
Yes, it’s your interview, but if you would be able to address one question to God, assuming He will answer you, what would that question look like? What is the most important thing you want to know from God?

32. Do You Have Secrets?
If yes, why? If not, are you sure? What is your number one reason for having and keeping secrets? Are you afraid of other people reactions? Are you ashamed? Or you just love to cover things for the pleasure of re-discovering them later?

33. What Makes You Laugh?
You do have something that instantly puts you in a totally laughing state, do you? There must be something that makes you laugh out loud. What is it? When was the first time you bumped into that thing?

My 2010 Bucket List

2010-01-20T22:58:00.001-05:00

10 things I plan on doing before the end of 2010

Take a picture in a club bathroom
Use one of these at a major league sporting event http://www.trinkartikel.de/images/product_images/info_images/Trinkhelm_big.jpg
Spend the night at the Essex House Hotel (where Donny Hathaway jumped to his death).
Take my son on his first airplane flight.
Take a Deathrow picture with my son and my dad that looks like this http://blogs.westword.com/backbeat/deathrow.jpg
Tell someone who I’m not related to that I love them.
Take my son to the beach (this will probably take place along with #4
Finish either my book or sitcom script.
Get closer to my lil’ brother (we used to talk a lot but his impending teenage life and my intro into parenthood has made our 19 yr age difference even more obvious
Visit my mother and grandmother’s grave. I haven’t been to the cemetery since they were bother interred (in 2002) and I think a trip to each of their respective sites is long over due.

~fin

Who will love me in winter?

2010-01-12T10:19:00.003-05:00

I told her to take my hand and pull me near....

She grabbed my arm and flung me to the ground.

Hurt people hurt people © Shanise Taylor

Now she wants to be friends...I just want it to end. Which on my part has already occured. Delusions of grandeur are no more. The windows are clear and I see that the grass only appears green when your looking at it from the pavement.

I'm going to find my heart in Philly. That's where I belong.

15 mins or mo’ until New Years (2010)

2010-01-01T19:02:00.001-05:00

The Wonderfully Horrible Days of Kae Williams Season One, Episode 1.

Instead of spending my New Years Eve out in the streets, I opted to play it cool and stay home with my son…this was by far the best New Years eve that I’ve experienced in a long time.

Watch the video, hope that you enjoy the follies between my son and I.

Technorati Tags: fatherhood

Dear 2009....

2009-12-30T22:26:00.002-05:00

F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you. F*ck you.

In addition to 2002, you've been one of the worst years I've ever experienced on this green oasis that we call Earth.

I never wish to experience the amount of hurt, pain, strife, heart ache and troubles that I endured these past 12 months.

Please don't take it personal but I'm glad that you only come into my life once and never to return or else I'd have to lie and wait and fuck you up the next time we crossed paths.

~fin

Fish Are Boring (relaunched)

2009-12-29T23:12:00.002-05:00

Just incase you couldnt see the original posting of my life….in video form.

Fish are boring….

2009-12-29T22:29:00.001-05:00

On & On © Erykah Badu

2009-12-27T12:05:00.006-05:00

And when I knew I had to face another day, Lord it made me feel so tired

It's amazing how little portions of a song can just stand out and literally just speak volumes to your soul...that line comes from "NATURAL WOMAN" and though the song itself says little to me that one 3 second segment of Aretha belting out that phrase says everything that I couldn't about today.

I ramble…I mean I ramble a lot. It is a miracle that in real life conversations that I make any sense whatsoever (It’s likely that I don’t but in fear of hurting my feelings people tolerate me and just attempt to grasp onto key points of my ramblings).

I’ve accepted that I’m a troubled soul. Unlike other troubled souls though, I havent found my gift or true talent. Hopefully though, I don’t follow the same demise as many other troubled souls (i.e., Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway, Phyllis Hyman, Kurt Cobain and etc.,). I sure as hell hope that I don’t follow the path of Van Gogh or Edgar Allen Poe and the world only realizes my greatness posthumously. Seemingly, with that said, I’ve got to find a way to make my mark on this vast planet soon...

Oh well...it's Sunday, I'm childless and I might as well sh*t, shower and shave and see what these A-town streets has to offer in regards to simple and amusing entertainment

*FYI, I'm still working on the title for my new blog...I'm still keeping this one though because it's the intimate window into my mind but I need something else to ramble (the word of the day) about sports, sex and music. * If you have any suggestions--HOLLA @ ME !

oh and if you're not on SKYPE (that means you too Xina), you're missin' me in all of my unadulterated and uncensored glory.

~fin

sTuMbLE iNtO HaPpInEsS…FaLl InTo JoY.

2009-12-26T13:38:00.002-05:00

I fell down the steps…into an mist of laughter. But when I got up to stare intently at those around me, no one was there. I was laughing at the very thought that it could’ve been much, much worse. These were the same steps that caused my son to get $500 worth of stitches (that’s after his insurance paid their 80%). How I stumbled and missed the whole last 5 steps and land in a patch of leaves is totally beyond me but it must’ve been divine intervention of Mister God Johnson himself *THANK YOU LORD*.

Lesson for the day : What doesn’t kill you—is definitely worth laughing at.

Today’s theme song . O'JAYS "Stairway to Heaven"

3 DAYS….

2009-12-26T01:30:00.004-05:00

I’m convinced that I have more than one damaging addiction. In addition to my insane addiction to Vanilla Coke ®, Grandma’s® Peanut Butter Cookies,I also have an addiction to a various amount of prescription sleeping pills (Rozerem, Lunestra and Ambien CR). The recent deaths of Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, and Brittany Murphy have all put some rather morbid thoughts in my head as of late and now I’m trying to stop being so dependent on it all.

So far I’m about 3 days clean…which isn’t nothing in regards to beating any sort of chemical dependency but hey it’s a start. I don’t believe I had half of these issues when I was drinking. (Ha, I kicked one bad habit and picked up about 6 more…GO kcuf’ing figure.

I’m 3 days free of this mind altering substances, my mind is racing and I’m writing like crazy. Just what I need…..a reason to write as if the past months depression and drama wasn’t fuel enough!!! Well obviously it wasn’t because I’ve been scribing away the past couple of hours.

The picture below is my consumption for this evening :

~fin~

Nine.Ten.Eleven.

2009-12-26T01:11:00.001-05:00

I forgot what I was going to tell you.

But when I rushed my thoughts and opened my mouth, the words poured out slowly.

I laid with you…and I’ve never even been by your side. Our lips have never met, yet I know exactly what it’s like to kiss you. I taste your thoughts and smile at the bitter sweet remnants in my mind.

I miss you even though you’re never gone…you’re just a mere phone call away. Every time my phone lights up, I look for your picture on the caller I.D. , your voice on the other end. But you’re just that ---on the other end. Never near. Never where I can hold you. Never where I can smell your scent on the bed from the action of the night before.

Is it just a dream. Have you stayed away too long. How can I convince you that this is your home. Last night I laid with you and I’ve never been by your side.

How can I get next to you so soon? I have so much to say and no way to tell you. I’ve longed to be with you for most of my life…and now I want you as my wife.

If only you knew that.

Nine.Ten.Eleven

turn.around.and.don’t.look.back

2009-12-26T01:06:00.003-05:00

If I could just walk away.

I would.

If It were that easy then it would be.

Sometimes I just want it all to just up and end.

But there’s a part of me attached.

That part that doesn’t want to lose a good friend.

If I could just walk away.

I’d leave, close the door and never look back.

But when I had nowhere to go and no one to turn to---you were right there.

You had my back when I didn’t know I needed the support.

If I could just walk away.

I’d do so without a tear or a second thought.

But it’s deeper than what it appears to be on the surface.

If only I could just walk away.

I would.

I haven’t been myself lately…

2009-12-22T21:52:00.004-05:00

I’ve been in and out of consciousness the past few weeks. My life, my thoughts and everything about and around me have been shaken up and turned into a tizzy. I wish I could explain why but there’s something seriously bothering me….well maybe it’s not one specific thing. It’s an accumulation of a lot of things. I feel like I am having an out of body experience. I can see things happening before my eyes and yet I’m slow to react and try to change the chain of unfortunate events. Maybe what they say about me is right----perhaps I promote drama. I’ve been lashing out at everyone within arms reach as of lately and it appears as though I can’t pinpoint the exact cause for my actions.

I want to be happy…yet, I can’t define the word. As strange as it may seem and appear, I am a loner that lives thru the eyes of others. I put myself in others lives yet I invite few if any into mine. I jokingly made a status update on facebook that said “ I don’t think outside the box, I bring people into mine”. While a joke at the time, my humor seems to be more truthful than I can readily admit…I just didn’t see it at the time.

I’m hurting people around me and I’m slowly killing myself in the process. When I don’t want to be bothered…I shut down and all but evaporate from all things social. What was once a great gift of humorous and thinly veiled sarcasm has abruptly turned into vengefully spewed verbal darts propelled by a slick tongue wrapped in anger. Simply put, my words have been causing much pain. The sad reality of it all is that I’m fully aware of my actions…yet, I do it anyway and try nothing to avoid it.

I need. I want. I have to get away.

*pops a sleeping pill only to remember the sudden drug fueled deaths of Heath Ledger and Brittany Murphy….spits pill on the floor*

~fin~

Fellas, I’m going to say this one time…

2009-12-16T23:13:00.001-05:00

Pussy is undefeated.

YOU.CAN'T.WIN.

Pound for pound pussy is the champ. Nothing is even close to being a contender.
Mike Tyson couldn't win. Muhphucka was heavyweight champion of da' world at 21. Y'alls a damn fool if you think Buster Douglas knocked that muhphucka out. Robin Givens gave that crazy negro the tko and mike was still wobbly @ the knees when he went in the ring with Buster.

2Pac couldn't win.

Rob Lowe couldnt win.

Mike Jordan had umpteen championship rings,the most successful shoeline in history...The pussy knocked him out. Muhphucka could dunk on anyone in the league, score sixty but he dropped the ball when he tried to charge against Juanita.

Eric Benet ain't win...I'm not saying that Halle ain't no loon but still what regular dude wouldn't do everything in his power to keep her. I mean Eric had Halle, Lost her and muhphuckas ain't paid attention to his ass since. Muhphucka can't give you a free download much less a hit record.

Kobe Couldn't win. Sure he's faired better than most but in the long run...he's a draw at best.

Shaq couldn't win...he thought he was winning. cheated wife took him back. Next thing you know he's filming a reality show and swimmin' with Mike Phelps and his wife is flying back, back to Cali, Cali leaving Shaq crying that "Damn, she trying to stick me for my paper (C) Biggie.

Hugh Grant couldn't win. Muhphucka had Liz Hurley and cheated on her with a prostitute.

Jude Law ain't win. muhphucka cheated with the nanny. (she cute though)..but now the muhphucka can't star in a movie if he produced it himself.
and lets not even talk about Steve McNair...this muhphucka cheated on his wife and the bitch he cheated with gave him a 2 pc with a biscuit.

And y'all a damn fool if y'all think that ya boy Tiger is gonna be able to come out on top after all of this. Pussy is undefeated.

Pussy almost did ya boy Jesus H.Christ in...if you think Mary Magdalene wasn't 'bout to set ya boy for the okie doke then you're mistaken.

Pussy - infinity
Men- 0

You.Cant.Win (C) Mike Jackson in "THE WIZ".

My internet friends make me laugh….

2009-12-11T00:44:00.001-05:00

and this is no different. Thanks BuildingBlock for putting this up. I have watched this no less than 20 times in the past hour. The part where ol’ girl walks in and you say “i’m in here with my internet friends” makes me know that i’m not the only one with a screw loose. If y’all don’t laugh at this, you’re void of all vital function, pulse and brain activity. There’s not a bunch of shit that makes me all out laugh but dammit I lost all ability to hold back my laughter while viewing this shit. The fact that D’Apostrophe is trying to keep his offline world and online world separate only to have one walk in on the other is hilarious in itself.

I won’t mention the parallel internet universe where he and I are both members…because as we all know that The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

Live, Love, Laugh…wash and repeat.

~fin

Technorati Tags: D'apostrophe,internet friends,laughter

Depression Starts talking…..

2009-12-09T22:30:00.001-05:00

Depression starts talkin and his voice is raspy
CAUSE HE ain't SHUT THE FUCK UP IN 3 AND A HALF WEEKS!
Look, beard is full, hair is nappy
These jeans ain't mine so they way too baggy
Priorities fucked shit startin to gas me
it's like my lil' man's life slipped right past me….© Joe Budden “Are You In the Mood, Yet?

The above verse from the embedded song speaks volumes and gives great insight as to how I’m feeling these days. It’s funny how songs say things that you just don’t have the power or will to say/express on your own. Sadly, I’ve felt this way for a while and this happens to be one of my favorite songs of all times. Depression is no stranger to me and because of it, I’m usually “off the scene” a lot. The past few weeks have been no different. Usually repeated listens of this song are all that is needed to snap me back to the harsh realities of every day life…but recently there’s some strange lingering feelings that I just can’t seem to shake or rid myself free from….

Don’t fret, I’ll be back to my normal (sarcastic self) soon. I just have to deal with a few demons and internal conflicts that are probably too intense yet seemingly superficial for me to put on the internet right now….

~fin.

I Spam Spammers Pt. 4

2009-12-05T10:27:00.001-05:00

I gotta admit this Nigerian is going full steam with this sh*t. He replied to my other email with this response and word document form for me to fill out.

Here’s Mr. Ofori’s response.

SUBJECT: SEE THE ATTACHED FORM AND PROCEED

...

Sat, December 5, 2009 1:32:28 AM

From: bernard ofori bernardofori05@gmail.com

To: Kae Williams phishgreese@yahoo.com

THE APPLICATION.doc (22KB)

Dear Williams

See the application form attached . Kindly Re-write and fill it proper and contact my bank head office through their emails on the form as I instructed you to enable them order the transfer to your account, please we have to make sure that this transaction is completed without delay and that is why you need to do everything fast so that the fund will be transferred to your account without delay to enable me start my arrangement on how we will meet for sharing and Investment in your country.

Regards
Bernard Ofori

Here’s the form that was sent to me as a word document.

THE APPLICATION.
Please I want you to re-write the below application letter (if possible with your business letter head paper) and send it to my head office so that they can commence with the transfer immediately.
The Bank numbers are:
Tel: 00233206948471

Email: icbforeignremittdept@officeliveusers.com

Private email to Mrs. Ofori: stellaoforimrs@yahoo.co.uk ,
the above is the direct lines for the International Remittance Department.
Attn: Mrs. Stella Ofori

The Director/Controller
International Remittance Department of the

International Commercial Bank of Ghana

Madam,
I am an escrow call account owner in your bank.
Account name (fill your name here)

Account number: 0692235688
Beneficiary: (fill your name here)
Amount: Three Eight Million, Five Hundred thousand United States dollars (USD$3, 500,000.00) International Commercial Bank of Ghana Limited. Makola Shopping Mail Accra Ghana.P.O Box 20057 Accra-Ghana

I wish to close and transfer my fund to my bank account in my country.
My Bank particulars are:
Account name ....................................................
Account number................................................
Beneficiary..........................................................
Bank name and Address...................................
Swift code............................................................
ABA No,..............................................................
I will be delighted if my request is favorably considered, it has been my pleasure doing business with your Bank.
My new contact address is (Fill in your current address here)
Telephone number ......................
Fax number...................................
Thank you for your kind co-operation.
Yours Faithfully,
(Your name and signature).

I Spam Spammers (Pt. 3.2)

2009-12-04T23:26:00.002-05:00

Flag this message

Thanks

Friday, December 4, 2009 11:24 PM

From: "Kae Williams" <phishgreese@yahoo.com>

To: bernardofori05@gmail.com

Bernard,
Its only by fate, that I'm a church fearing man or else I'd think that you were trying to scam me. I see this stuff on the news all the time but for some reason I feel that you're truly sincere in your responses to me and for that reason alone I want to help you out. I've was scammed a few years ago when I searched online for something to help me with my low sex drive and erectile disfunction and by chance I received an email from someone overseas and they sent me some pills that promised to increase my shaft length and girth...to my chagrin the only thing i received was a lighter bank account and some pills that increased my blood pressure...but since your proposition has nothing to do with anything that could affect my health, I'm more than eager to assist you.

I withheld the truth from you earlier and my reasons for doing so was to test your sincerity in our actions with one another. I lied about not having a checking account. I do have one but the only draw back is that the mother of my 4 kids is also on that account as an authorized user. She is on the account as per the ruling of our most recent child support court case. This child support judgment is reason alone as to why I am desperate to help you. I am currently paying more than $1100 a month for the care and support of those illegitimate and unwanted children of mine even though my documented income is only $2400 a month. These U.S. courts are crazy to believe that a man with as many hoes as myself can support himself and his sexual habits on $1300 a month. But that's neither here nor there, please send me all of the proper and necessary forms so that we can get the ball rolling and in turn become the millionaires that we're destined to be.

Kae Williams

Spamming the Spammer (ptIII)

2009-12-04T15:14:00.002-05:00

This is Mr. Ofori's latest response in the Spam the Spammer Saga. How in the hell you make a $4 million dollar mistake and act like it isn't nothing?....

-----Original Message-----
From: bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, December 04, 2009 9:07 AM
To: Kae Williams
Subject: Re: THANKS.

You are so funny? anyway, I made a mistake at first by typing $7.5 million, it was a typographical errow, I intended to write $3.5 million, it was a mistake and no one is above mistake when it comes to writing.

Listen I am not here for joke, I really mean business, but if you are not ready to handle this with me, then you can let me know so that I can look for someone else, I am not going to send you anything money to open account because I don't have anything to send you, I have only secure this $3.5 million on escrow call account and I have no access to it as I have deposited it with no beneficiary name just for onward transfer and that is why I contacted you to stand and claim it as the beneficiary.

You can provide any bank information for a bank to bank transfer of this fund to your account, this is an international fund transfer and it requires a bank account for such transfer not a paypal account.

Right now I am not sure if you are serious, but if you are serious, kindly let me know so that I can istalled your informations into the account data of this fund so that the account will appear in your name, and I will also give you the application form immediately I haer from you which you will fill and contact my bank head office for the transfer of this fund to your account.

Let me hear from you

Bernard

I Spam Spammers (pt II)

2009-12-03T20:12:00.001-05:00

Below is the 2nd part of the ongoing Spammer saga with Mr. Bernard Ofori. Unbeknownst to him the address and phone number that I gave him is actually for Ace Cash America…some check cashing joint down the road from my home. Happy reading!!! (remember read his email first before reading mine)

Re: THANKS.

...

Thu, December 3, 2009 8:08:24 PM

From:Kae Williams phishgreese@yahoo.com

To:bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>

Dear Mr. Ofori,
Man, I'm not reading all that. Let's cut the chase and get down to business. I don't have a checking account with any bank at the current moment but I do have a check cashing card account and a paypal account. I'd prefer that you put the money in my paypal account if possible If you need to contact me or send me something please do so at this address .

Kae Williams

2858 Delk Road
MARIETTA, GA 30067

(770) 952-6535

I suddenly feel as if you're trying to scam me because the first email you sent said that you were going to deposit 7.5 million dollars into my account and now you've reduced it to 3.5 million dollars. Now I've heard of taking a little off the top but man you're trying to stick me for my paper for the sum of about 4 million dollars. What the business is? Now I've heard of shady business practices but man you could've waited till my pants were down before you tried to fuck me raw dog style. Due to your shrewd business practices and since you're in such of a dire need of my help, I'm asking for $365.90 to be paid in exactly 73 five dollar bills and 18 unmarked nickels. The unmarked nickels are essential because I've been tracked by the government before for running a snack machine scam and this time I don't want the nickels to get back to me.
Mr. Ofori...or since we're now 3 emails deep on this exchange, I feel at liberty to be able to call you Bernard since I seem to be the one in the power position as you need my account to launder your Weezy F. Babies...(Ha, you like that don't cha? Weezy F, Young Money? Get it?...wait maybe you don't because you're probably in some prepaid internet cafe in the better part of Ghana while I'm stuck trying to reply to you on my phone...Do you know how hard it is to type on your cell phone? I'm not talking about one of those new cell phones either . I have a bag phone with a black and white screen and a pull out antenna. Sorry to bore you with the details of my deplorable living standards but I am just trying to relay to you how desperate I am for the whole 7.5 million dollars to be put into my account.
So hit me back with the $365.90 to let me know that you're serious and we can definitely do business. Once I get the money, I'll buy you a ticket and fly you out to GA and put you in my new guest house and we'll invite some bitches over and I'll show you how us Americans have a fun time.
Sincerely, your brother in the cause.
Kae Williams

From: bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>
To: Kae Williams phishgreese@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu, December 3, 2009 6:07:17 AM
Subject: Re: THANKS.

Dear Mr.williams

Thanks for your kind and prompt reply to my proposal to you, be rest assured that this transaction is legally deposited and we are going to have a smooth transfer of this fund to your account as long as you stick on my instructions and guidelines, ones again, I really appreciate your willingness to assist in this transaction.

I'm the Regional Manager of International Commercial Bank of Ghana Ltd, as the regional manager of this bank, it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each bank business year.
During my 2008 financial report to my bank head office, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made three million five hundred thousand united state dollars($3,500,000.00) which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of it,and I have placed this funds on escrow call account with no beneficiary name hence I decided to contact you to stand and claim the fund as the owner who made the deposit with my branch so that the bank will order the transfer to your account.
Meanwhile, the transfer of this fund will take place from my bank head office because that is where we have our international remittance department, so all you have to do is to apply for the transfer in my bank head office with the application form and the details of this fund which I will give to you immediately I hear from you to give me your assurance that you will not betray me in this transaction because I would not want anything that will bridge this transaction on the way which might be as result of misunderstanding in this matter which I will not like and that is why I need your full assurance to proceed this transaction with you because I will not want anything that will stop this matter on the way because I can not afford to loose this fund, kindly ask any question which you might need clearification so that you can understand everything for us to proceed with one mind and full understanding to avoid any future arguement or mistake in this matter.
Like I told you, I contacted you because I can not be directly connected to this fund since I am still in service with this bank and we are not allowed to own such amount as civil servants or to operate a foreign account, so you can understand my position in this matter which is my main reason of contacting you to assist me to acheive this goal, your assistance is all I need to acheive this fund by standing as the real depositor and claim the fund from my bank since I will also guide you accordingly and provide to you all the necessary back up information of this fund which will authomatically empower you as the beneficiary of this fund.
I will also advise you to keep this transaction secret and confidential and that is all I need from you because I will not want any thing that will expose this transaction and you should not mention my name in my head office while dealing with them to avoid any question in my bank head office during the transfer, kindly get back to me so that I can explain this clear to you and to enable me give all information you will need after your proper understanding in this matter for me to give you all information you need to contact my bank head office for the transfer of this fund to your account, I will also install and configure your full name and address into the account data base of this fund immediately I hear from you to make sure that everything to appeard in your name as the beneficiary and the depositor of this fund who made the deposite with my branch.

You should also send me your full details such as your full name and address including your direct phone number so that I can install them into the account data of this fund so that everything will appear in your name as the beneficiary.
Note that we have no much time to spend in this transaction because the transfer supposed to be completed within 4 banking days immediately you apply to my head office for transfer.
I am waiting to hear from you so that we can go over the details and proceed.

Mr.Bernard Ofori

I Spam Spammers in My Spare Time

2009-12-02T22:46:00.001-05:00

This is what happens when you give a muhphucka like me an internet connection and an e-mail address. I do this sh*t all of the time when I have nothing better to do. Read it from the bottom up.

Re: THANKS....

From:

Kae Williams <phishgreese@ymail.com

To:bernard.ofori05@gmail.com

Dear Bernard,

I would love to help you...do you think you could send me a $25 in U.S. currency so that I could open up a checking account. I currently only have a savings account and I'd need you to help me so that I can in turn help you? Let me know it this works out for you and I'll be glad to send you my address.
Sincerely,
your brother in the cause.

Kae Williams
phishgreese@ymail.com

"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust...and it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it"

From: Mr Bernard Ofori <bernard@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, December 1, 2009 1:18:15 PM
Subject: THANKS.
Hello,i need your co-operation,
My name is Mr Bernard Ofori,
I wish to make a transfer involve $7.5m into your account. For subsequent investment of it in lucrative ventures in your country.
Please, if you are willing to assist kindly reply by stating your assurance and total commitment to handle this transaction,
Then I shall furnish you with the procedure to follow-up the transaction. As soon as you read, I will be expecting your timely response.
While replying please kindly include your telephone and Fax number for easy communication.
Please observe the utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this,
Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. asap,
Regards,
Mr. Bernard Ofori

Conflicted…

2009-11-29T19:29:00.001-05:00

*cues Musiq’s HALFCRAZY*

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you just wanted to give up everything that you have just to chase what you’ve always wanted/desired/dreamed about? I swear if it wasn’t for my world (aka my son) that I'd just up and leave this very state that I’ve convinced myself for the past 25 years I love.

My life, for lack of a better word, is mediocre. I have days of highs and lows and those that aren’t of either tend to be just that—an existence of mediocrity. Ironically, I have everything going for me. Granted things aren’t great but they aren’t totally bad either. I know things could be worse…but that’s just it, i know that they could be worse and I also know that they could be whole hell of a lot better. I’m existing for the purpose of making it to the very next day but with each approaching day I find myself further and further from the ultimate goal which is supposed to be HAPPINESS. What to do? …Do you just cast down your buckets and run away from it all and start anew? Or do you stand, fight and try to make the best of a seemingly mediocre situation?

I’m conflicted. My life as I know it has been turned upside down as of lately. Outside of my son, there’s really no reason for me to be in Georgia anymore. I’m beginning to have a love / hate relationship with all things Atlanta as of recently. I love it for the fact that I grew up here and I know the city like the back of my hand. Don’t move and get emotional all too quick… I hate Atlanta for that very same reason. I know too much about this great city. There’s nothing new under the sun and there’s nothing of new interest for me here either.

What to do?

That seems to be the question at hand…2010 will definitely serve purpose and reveal answers.

This Makes Me Laugh....

2009-11-25T12:35:00.002-05:00

I love this lil dude and all of his shenanigans. Apparently this is his first (AND ONLY) forray into thug culture and it's hilarious nonetheless.

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

Scooby Doo, Where are you? © Shaggy

2009-11-17T21:17:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure where I've been….or where I am going. Life has been full of ups and downs as of recently. Maybe it's the approaching holidays. If you know me…then you know of my dislike for the impending holiday season. Friends and family get together to enjoy what should be a joyous occasion but by the time it is all said and done-the joys and smiles turn into drunken shouting matches of "you ain't shit" coupled with "you ain't never have my back when I was younger". Perhaps I'm jumping the gun. Surely this doesn't happen with every family, right? Maybe it's just mine. Needless to say that I'm not looking forward to it, to be honest I never have. This year is bound to be different in the aspect that instead of being around my dysfunctional miscreants of shared blood, I'll be in the presence of my girlfriends relatives. (Yes, you read that right; G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D !, that's a whole 'nother post in itself). So possibly this newness will finally allow me to enjoy some semblance of a holiday.

My dislike for Thanksgiving is only outweighed and overshadowed by my true abhorrence for Christmas. This is not to say that I don't like giving thanks to Jesus and all of that. I know the reason for the season. It's just over the years Christmas doesn't bring the same warm energy to my soul that it once did. Partial blame for this would be the fact that my grandmother died a few years ago on Christmas day (2002 to be exact). Time has enabled me to put a great deal of that pain aside and (I) try to enjoy Christmas for the sake of my 3 yr old son but there's some occult negativity that still lingers over and within me about that particular holiday. Some things are best left to their own understanding…and sadly, I don't understand why I can't get past it all.

The only thing that brings me some sort of short lived joy would be the fact that I usually accumulate enough vacation days by this time of year to really enjoy some time off. As tradition would have it, I'm taking off every Friday off from Black Friday until the end of the year. In addition, I'm also off the last two weeks of the year and the first 3 business days of 2010.

The greatest thing about the holiday season is the knowledge that 2009 is almost coming to a close. For that reason alone, I'm happy. Overall 2009 hasn't been the greatest year of my life. I will say that during all of the trials and tribulations of the past 12 months, I was able to discover some very unique qualities and traits about my character. Some of these traits were good, others?...well, not so much. Patience and tolerance have been my biggest learned attributes of the almost 365 days of 2009. I did learn how to do a lot (of sh*t) with a little bit (of money). This was a yr of no bonuses and no side hustles…If I've learned anything it's that I have to get on my grind in the upcoming year. I can't go living paycheck to paycheck and dwindling my once impressive savings account just to survive.

Oh well…..this is it for now. (Hell it's not like anyone is out there reading this….I'm to the point where I'm blogging for my own amusement and entertainment).

~fin

Much Adu About Nothing !!!!.....

2009-10-19T21:43:00.006-04:00

Dear people of the blogosphere,

I haven't deserted you quite yet...I just haven't had a whole lot to post in terms of interesting subject matter. (I'll admit that zero drama results in boring reads) I could tell you about the ins and outs of love and life--but I have none. Life is great. Love is promising. Loving Life seems to be the grand scheme of things for the moment. My only complaint is money but what's the point of complaining about that if you haven't any. I'm actively working on that as well and with Mr. Johnson's grace (that's God to you commoners), my son's smile and good fortune things will soon be on the up and up. I'm in a self made rut and only now am I realizing that it's pretty much of my own plan, design and previous lack of desire to change that's caused me much of my past aggressions and grief. So I'll wallow in my prison of pity no longer.

As they say, I'm too blessed to be stressed. It's too divine for me to mind...

feel free to watch one of my personal cult favorites of the 90's. Many people shitted and hated on this flick but never enough for me to dislike it in anyway.

The Inkwell...(Jada Smith, Larenz Tate, Morris Chestnutt and who never ever was semi-famous and black in my high school graduation year of 1994)

If you aint up on Skype...

2009-10-15T17:03:00.002-04:00

You're missing out on a lot...mainly me. Download it, sign up, and then get at me.

http://www.skype.com/

Slavery in 2009?

2009-10-14T07:25:00.008-04:00

This muhphuckan Rush Limbaugh is trying to become a slave master in 2009. Say it ain't so?

http://www.kolotv.com/sports/headlines/63633867.html EVERYTHING IN RED IS WHAT I THINK SHOULD"VE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE ARTICLE BUT FOR OBVIOUS REASONS THE AUTHOR DECIDED AGAINST MY EDITS...LOL

ST. LOUIS (AP) - Conservative *CONSERVATIVE BY WHO'S STANDARDS?* radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh says he is teaming up *FORMING A LYNCH MOB* with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams.

Limbaugh declined to discuss details Tuesday. He cited a confidentiality agreement with Goldman Sachs, the investment firm hired by the family of former Rams owner Georgia Frontiere to review assets of her estate.

Limbaugh also declined to discuss other partners *POTENTIAL SLAVE OWNERS* that might be involved in the bid *SLAVE TRADE*, but said he and Checketts would operate the team *OVERSEE THE NEGROES IN THE HOUSE AND ON THE FIELD.

Forbes magazine has estimated the Rams franchise has a value of $929 million. *GOTDAYUM...THATS A LOT OF 40 ACRE PLOTS AND A GAZILLION MULES*

Just when you thought it was safe for y'all Negroes to walk freely about your neighborhoods, this muhphucka decides that he wants to invest in a whole team of y'all.

Get me free (C) Amistad.

Say what'cha wanna say and draw your own conclusions but this is the same muhphucka that called Barry Obama a "monkey" and most of the underlying media swept it under the rug. If he buys this team, it's a great injustice to the NFL. I will likely no longer support watching football games outside of lil' league and college.

*runs before Massah realizes that I can read and write*

The KANG (yes, Kang) of Comedy...

2009-10-09T07:41:00.002-04:00

This man single handedly had the biggest influence of any celebrity in my life. His death affected me like Michael Jackson affected many of yours. I remember sneaking and listening to all of his albums at my grandmother's house when no one was around and sampling bits and pieces of his material for school the next day. Sure I wasn't as effective with the voices and punchlines but dammit, I was funny.

I present to you, the KING OF COMEDY, Richard Pryor..Here and Now

Game Over : The Real Story Behind Paid In Full

2009-10-06T07:37:00.001-04:00

This is the true story of three Harlem drug kingpins (AZ,Alpo & Rich Porter) in the 80's and documents their rise and fall in the drug game.

I'm feeling real GAYE today....

2009-10-05T20:29:00.003-04:00

Here's something for you to enjoy.

Don't say Uncle Fishgrease ain't never give my family a jewel.

take it now and thank me later.

Marvin Gaye : The Sexual Healing Sessions

1. Clique Games/Rick James - (previously unreleased, Original Version Of 'Midnight Lady')
2. Sexual Healing - (previously unreleased, Alternate 12-inch instrumental)
3. Sexual Healing - (previously unreleased, Original Vocal Version)
4. Sexual Healing - (previously unreleased, alternate take, Alternate Vocal/Mix)
5. I Bet You Wonder - (previously unreleased, Original Version Of 'Rockin' After Midnight')
6. Rockin' After Midnight - (previously unreleased, instrumental)
7. Baby, Baby, Baby - (previously unreleased, Original Vocal Version Of ''Til Tomorrow')
8. I've Got My Music - (previously unreleased, Original Vocal Version Of 'Turn On Some Music') 9. Turn on Some Music - (previously unreleased, alternate take, Alternate Vocal/Mix)
10. Third World Girl - (previously unreleased, Original Reggae Version)
11. Third World Girl - (previously unreleased, alternate take, Alternate Vocal/Mix)
12. My Love Is Waiting - (previously unreleased, alternate take, Alternate Vocal/Mix)
13. Marvin's Message to the CBS Records Staff - (previously unreleased)
14. Sexual Healing - (previously unreleased, Rehearsal Tape Courtesy Of David Ritz)

Marvin Gaye: Live at the London Palladium

1. Intro Theme
2. All the Way 'Round
3. Since I Had You
4. Come Get to This
5. Let's Get It On
6. Trouble Man
7. Ain't That Peculiar / You're A Wonderful One / Stubborn Kind Of Fellow / Pride And Joy
8. Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler) / God Is Love / What's Going On / Save The Children
9. You're All I Need To Get By / Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing / Your Precious Love
10. Thanks
11. Distant Lover
12. Closing Theme / I Want You
13. Got to Give It Up

All Good Things Must Come To An End....

2009-09-30T21:07:00.005-04:00

I should have known that it would only be a matter of time before you decided to spread your wings and fly the coup...leaving me to fend for myself in this cruel world of manic depression and bipolar episodes.

I wish it were 1996 all over again and we were squandering inside of our infamous 2 bedroom 1.5 bath party spot of an apartment. Gone are the days where we'd sit on the floor of our barren abode talkin' about every Tom, Dick and Sarah that we were fuckin' and laughing about how we tricked this ,that and the other muhphucka into buying us shit or performing some laughable yet lewd sex act.

Gone are the days where we screamed out fuck the world while watching FALLING DOWN and wishing that we were in the role of Michael Douglas. Gone are the days where I'd run into the kitchen after watchin' Michael Jackson's "DONT STOP'TIL YOU GET ENOUGH" and emulating his every move, step for step.

Gone are the days where I told you about every heart break only to have you remind me or my unrequited love and affection for Carla. Gone are the days where we'd talk about those DAMN cousins of ours and how they get on every fiber of our last nerve yet we felt compelled to entertain them if only to make our lives appear that much better in comparison.

Gone are the days where we have to actually complain about out respective baby parents. No more complaining about those khaki, baby shit colored muhphuckas any more.

Gone is the one person who put my world on her shoulders and used her Bank Of America bonus money to put a roof over my head when I had no where else to go. Gone are the days where you, Tawana and I would hop in Bertha (Buick) on what seemed like long days trip to North Georgia Malls. Gone are they days where we'd ride down Camp Creek in that same run down Buick and laugh about the time, my dad put that mustang hubcap on it and we stopped at the red light on Herschel Road, only to see said hubcap roll down the street past us.

Gone are the days before I had throat surgery and you were the only one who never said anything negative about my voice. Gone are the days when I was living with a girl and you took off work from the "shop" to take me to the dentist and then drove me to another specialist because the first one couldn't get the whole tooth out.

Gone are the days when I was a mere freshman in college and your were gonna choke that broad out that I had got prego, because she was playing with my heart. Remember when she tried to stab me with that broken plate and I ended up having to choke her out in self defense?

Gone are the days when I was broke and had to drive up to Diva Styles and borrow $3 from you so i could put gas in the car to get myself to work and school and get you home from work.

Gone are the days where we would sit around smokin' cigarillos even though neither one of us even smoked. (how silly was that?) I think that box of cigs lasted us two months. LOL

Gone are the days where we'd have $15 dollars between us and just ball the fuck out (I wish i was able to do that now). Remember when I had the Acura, Jimmy had the Benz, and Tawana had the BMW and all of our neighbors thought we were either in the music business or low end drug dealers? Ironic how we're now broke and you're in the music business.
Gone is out past.

Xina,

We had a great ride...This isn't the end but rather just a new beginning. Hopefully things will happen to turn both of our lives around for the better. Be safe in all your travels and as usual I have your back.

Love always,

your brother,

Rob'ert A. Williams (known to the rest of the world as kae)

P.S. Here's a gift for you

Mike Jack Unmasked

2009-09-25T20:25:00.004-04:00

Don't say that I've never shared anything w/y'all..Enjoy this for the next 45 mins or so.

I'm not here right now...I've gone crazy. Be back in a few...

2009-09-11T21:21:00.003-04:00

There soon comes a time in your life where you just don’t want anything to do with your past or your current way of life and you’re simply living for an uncertain future. Often times you're plauged by the vision in your head of how things are supposed to be, how they are supposed to appear but the truth of the matter is you never know how it’s going to end until well…the end.

I’ve spent the last few days locked away in my humble abode analyzing just about every aspect of my life…I’ve come up with zany and almost unbelievable answers to the question “HOW DID I GET HERE (OR TO THIS POINT IN MY LIFE). The only reason that these answers aren’t so unbelievable is because I have had the (dis)pleasure of living out this sitcom (that we call life) to each and every commercial break.

Love..or rather the possibility of being in love suddenly doesn’t seem so possible. The whole idea of being in a monogamous and meaningful relationship doesn’t seem promising nor does it appear inviting. I want love and I want to be in love but recent events have all but turned me against the notion. In the past year, I’ve dated every type of woman imaginable. Don’t believe me? I’ve dated the clingy, I- need- a- husband- now- type, I’ve dated the Destiny- Child- Independent –but- can- you- pay- My- Bills- Woman, The I’m-drop-dead-gorgeous-but –I –have-let-others-tear –down-my-self-esteem-with-their-hatred. Oh, and I forgot about the “I’m-broke-but-you’d-never-know-it-until-you-see-all-of-the-late-notices-sittin-on-the-counter-while-im-in-the-bathroom-type woman. Needless to say, I can’t take the dating scene anymore. I’m tired of it. Due to the constant ins and outs of the women that I’ve encountered I am casting my buckets where I stand and I’m walking away from it all with what remains of my dignity and pride. I’m just going to do some freelance dating so to speak. Nothing serious.

My job is just that-- a job. Not a career. Not even a means to an end. Hell I am barely making ends meet. Matter of fact my ends don’t even need to meet…I’d be happy if they were close enough to wave at one another.

I have my son 80% of the time and I’ve come to realize that society champions behind a struggling single mother but put a father in just a semblance of such a situation and that same society turns a blind eye. Women treat me as if I’m some sort of text book experiment. I’m suddenly Big Foot, the Loch Ness Monster or a a mythical Unicorn. An involved single father just doesn’t exist. I’ve become a piece of folklore. I’m spoken about in circles as the perfect catch but once I’m caught they suddenly realize just how little free time I have and the idea of a dedicated father quickly becomes a turn off. Picture that?...the one thing that attracted them to me, runs them off. It’s not even as if my son drives them away. Hell few even get a chance to see/meet my son. It’s a problem that’s not so much of a problem. My son is a constant…these women aren’t.

I miss my best friend....parenthood has unfortunately put an understandable wedge in our friendship. We talk everyday (via phone/email) but it still seems like we're at a distance...

I have no drama from my baby momma...simply because i don't allow her to bring her drama into my life. I don't talk to her at all. We only communicate via text msg. (Gotta keep that paper trail). If she calls me, i reject it and send her a text. It sounds harsh but it's rather stress free and easy going... I don't have to hear her lies, cries or alibi's.

Well I’m just venting…my whole mind frame might change tomorrow (that’s unlikely) but I can say for certain that I’m no longer the person I was months or days ago…I don’t know if it’s all for the best…but it is best that I do what I have to do to keep my sanity.

Life ain't always easy

2009-09-03T23:18:00.007-04:00

With this new age of technological and Internet break-thru's one would be inclined to believe that applying for jobs online was s'pose to be simple!!! All i wanna do is send my resume with a cover letter...I don't wanna rewrite the constitution, draft a new Obama Health plan..I just wanna attach my resume and hit send.but naw..., I gotta give up my first (& only) born, get a notary to swear that Mike Jackson really died,then give'em 10 email addresses, 3 phone numbers and partridge in a bluntbush....WTH?

*the above was adapted/swiped/stolen from my status on Facebook*

Sometimes.....

2009-08-28T23:24:00.003-04:00

Sometimes there are aspects of life that calls and beckons and leaves you no choice but to answer (or suffer). Simply put, My sanity and faith in the higher powers have been tested over the past few weeks. My only outlet (i.e, my writing) has been neglected. My finances have become a total abomination and my love life (or lack thereof) has remained the confusing and strange state of emotions that it always has (been). *sigh*

The moment you believe that you've made it over one hurdle...life throws the proverbial wrench in your plans and other obstacles in your path.

I'd complain in further detail but I realized that I'm blessed just having the breath to complain.

Such is life....and such is the life that I live.

Charlaboo & I planin' a furniture heist...

2009-08-18T21:25:00.003-04:00

well okay..i'm planning a heist, she just so happened to be there (GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION).

*listen closely and you can hear me say that she has to stay out of the shot because I don't want to implicate her*
I really want the metal planters next to the fireplace....like really want them.

My life is a sitcom....unscripted. Today just happens to include my adventures with a co-worker.

Holy Grail #2 has been found

2009-08-03T14:34:00.002-04:00

Playa : "Never Too Late"

Nothing more needs to be said...Now I'm looking for Mocha (from Missy's Goldmine label) or Sugah's ( the group that had Tweet in it, from Devante's "SwingMob/Bassment Crew) albums.

enjoy that playa though...it bumps (C) Static Major

Words of wisdom (the dry erase board)

2009-07-15T11:14:00.001-04:00

(You) Cant understand a win...until you've dealt w/a loss. (c) Stat Quo

I'd give anything to be doing this right now.

2009-07-14T16:18:00.001-04:00

Feet up.remote in hand....but alas, i'm a slave to this institution commonly referred to as "work".

Things.must.get.better....dont get it twisted, i'm greatful for the fact that I am employed but I cant wait to discover my true calling....because I am sure that this AIN'T it.

~fin

The only thing that makes me smile

2009-07-14T16:15:00.000-04:00

Retire From Sports...get murdered by ya PYT (C) MJackson

2009-07-12T22:32:00.009-04:00

Read this sh*t first. Ain't this a terrible muhphuckan way to die? CLICK HERE

Man, these past few weeks have made me kinda happy that my athletic prowess or rather lack thereof never prospered into anything promising 'cause the Lord only knows that I'd eventually end up in my mid 30's retired, financially sound while sittin' on the top of the world with a gang of young women at my disposal. {As if I don't currently live the life that the average muhphucka would envy...LOL } Seriously though what's going on with all these athletes gettin' up with these young tenders and ending up dying violent deaths?

This Gatti dude, who by the way was a great boxer ended up gettin' choked to death by his wife and her purse (strap) being used as the murder weapon . *looks into the camera* I don't think y'all heard me, this dude boxed his way to financial success with a 40-9 record and he gets snuffed by his wife and then choked out? I ain't trying to make a mockery of all of this but got'dammit this is an awfully ironic and sad way to have your life ended.

Damn, I hope I die in a car accident or in my sleep. I can tell you this much, I won't be getting shot while laying on the sofa in my sleep (McNair) nor will i be gettin' the life sucked outta me by a Prada purse strap either....How do i know this? Well simply put I ain't datin' no young chicks. Apparently these Pretty Young Things have been studying and emulating Snoop from acclaimed TV show THE WIRE. Either that or they're on that Cleo (what up Latifah?) from Set It Off.

Bottom line if you don't remember when Thriller was released, I'm not gonna be able to f*ck w/you.

*Moonwalks outta this entry*

~fin

Fellas, Dont ever simp this HARD

2009-07-12T10:47:00.001-04:00

Friends, Romans, fellow brethren lend me yo ear..

First and foremost allow me to say that there's nothing wrong with being young and in love. Matter of fact, being in love is a good thang.

but being young and dumb is another.

Ain't nothing wrong with being pussy-whipped, love-struck, googoo-gah-gah over the pusspillow in private or intimate settings. but when you start doing shit like this http://jadoremag.com/mag/2009/07/que-breaks-down-his-various-tattoos-dedicated-to-dawn/ then it allows me to have total grounds for laughin' at'chu in and out of public.

Muhphucka, is you walkin' around lookin' like you just got slobbed down by some broad on yo way to a job interview? Cuz you know this Day26 group shit ain't gonna never last. This muhphucka will be at UPS/Kinkos fillin' out applications in 2010.

I knew from watchin' the show that the lil' phucka was bat.shit.crazy but i ain't know he was dumbASfuck as well.

My fellow nephews, i'm not saying don't show yo affection for your women in kind and sweet ways, what i am saying is don't be desecrating the shrine that is yo body with senseless graffiti of lip prints and what not.

I'd have rather seen the lil' muhphucka with some of them Eve paw prints on his chest or some shit. Lips on yo neck? You shittin' me right?

i'm hopin' this shit is a henna tattoo.

Love Always,

the notorious k.a.e

2009-07-07T15:07:00.001-04:00

Dont take me up to the sky /
(then) break me wings
And expect me to fly
(c) Gloria Scott " I just couldnt take a goodbye"

2009-07-06T16:39:00.000-04:00

My dry erase board @ work.

Food for thought; You do the dishes (c) JayZ

2009-07-06T16:24:00.000-04:00

SOMETIMES YOU DONT UNDERSTAND A WIN....UNTIL YOU'VE DEALT WITH A LOSS (c) Atl's own Stat Quo

*FADES TO BLACK*

For 20 years this song has played in my head...

2009-07-05T22:05:00.002-04:00

In my mind, this is the saddest yet most beautiful song ever created.
http://www.mediafire.com/?345tyngtyqk

Slow Burn

2009-07-05T11:05:00.002-04:00

This is likely going to be a post filled with an unambitious amount of ran.dumb.ness. I guess I'll number it so that it'll be easier for the masses to keep up with the numerous changes in topics.
My mind is racing....blame it on the prescription drugs, the alcoholic beverages and the serene sounds that are permeating through my head. To counteract the confusion, i've decided to number my thoughts so that you can keep up with each change in topic. Hold on and brace yourself for the ride.

It's 10:55 am on July 5th, 2009 and I'm on my 2nd beer. This is a clear indicator of the downward spiral that the last few hours (scratch that, the last few days) have presented to me.
I unknowingly kicked her to the curb...for a few days of personal solace and me time. We've tried talkin' on the phone since the "break-up" emails that we both sent to one another's place of employment but the convo's seemed forced and contrived in nature. It's a tad short of a month since we even crossed paths and from the looks of it all it doesn't seem probable that we ever will again. *Sidenote* (how sad is it to send such correspondence to your work addy? Now our inner-most thoughts and feelings about one another are available for the nosy eyes and general scrutiny of our respective I.T. Depts) *end of side note*
I feel like I'm trapped in a horrible yet entertaining spinoff of Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". My son's mom is playing the role of the dude, and I'm playing the role of the bad black Woman" (in reverse roles of course). She's recently suffered some medical mishaps and as fate would have it, I'm the only one she feels she can depend on. Each moment that I'm around her, i realize just how wrong she and I were for each other. Karma is indeed a b*tch...and sadly i have no room for either in my life.
I've been occupying my time in the company of random people...only to discover what I already know. I enjoy my own company.
My new saying for 2009 is that " if you're not complimenting me, you're hating"....I'm ballin' on a budget and from a distance it might just appear that i'm stuntin. Hate me now (C) Nas and Diddy.
My son is in love with one of my friends....how funny is that? At least I know he likes women. *whew
Only 6 people know where I live....none of them being my son's mom or my sisters.
I've been in my apartment a tad bit shy of two months and still have yet to change my address with the post office.
Beer #3. (Tip, I'm now officially drinkin' your half of the case now...you leave me near and you'll grieve for your beer)
I'm either havin' the worse migraine ever imaginable or I have some sudden brain tumor that only subsides once I've hit my daily threshold of 6 beers.....phuck, I only need 3 more to reach that plateau.
I am serious about enjoying 21 day relationships for the remainder of the summer...who knows maybe one of those 3 week flings will prosper into something meaningful.
My little sister lost her job and swore me to secrecy to not tell her dad....(BTW, he's also my dad).
I stopped takin' the steriods for my polyps....not on doctor's orders either. It's likely not going to be a good outcome but i'm tired of poppin' pills.
I am very much a loner...my only constant interaction with family happens to be with the very one i assisted in creating (aka my son aka Wooly Bully aka THE GOOCH)
I miss my best friend....she has not gone anywhere, we just had kids and those responsibilities supersede our friendship duties.
I like this new Maxwell album. Either my music choices have changed or I'm just in a totally different mode/mood these days altogether.
I keep dealing with someone who's detrimental to my health. They won't cause me physical harm but the mental ramifications will likely be horrible. Must.cut.them.out.of.my.life.immediately. The constant push and pull, shove and tug of our interactions is what makes it all so alluring.
I'm still scribing away at the book that I set the unattainable goal of finishing this past April 15...I could have completed it then but i wasn't happy with the direction, nor with my writing style or tone...so I scrapped the initial draft and started over from square one.
www.apartmenttherapy.com takes a great portion of my free time.
Toaster Strudels and Beer aren't a very probable combination but they go surprising well together. Who'd have ever thunk it?

~fin

Signs of Trouble Ahead

2009-07-05T10:20:00.001-04:00

I have a feeling that at 10 am in the morning that this is either a) going to be a helluva day or b) that this isnt a good look or a nutricious breakfast.

My stomach hurts. I have a migraine and I'm chasing away all of my physical and mental ills with light versions of Corona Beer (special shout outs to Tip for the beer recommendation)

~FIN

I just killed the game.

2009-07-03T19:25:00.000-04:00

Any one that knows me knows that I FUX with CHUX and i just murdered the game with this shoe purchase. The plaid soles on this mugs are re-DAMN-diculous.

~fin

Another One Bites the Dust © Queen

2009-06-19T11:44:00.002-04:00

Well true to form, my nonchalant-ness, lack of tact and all out desire for me time has ended/severed/chopped/deaded another blossoming relationship. Almost 90 days in and it only took me about 2 days of needing a breather to end it all. I wish i could say something poetic that would make it all seem better and lessen the blows but i can't. I won't. Words suddenly have no feelings, no meaning.

Dating sucks.

I don't think you all heard me.

D.A.T.I.N.G S.U.C.K.S

All of this getting to know people, the probationary period, the time constraints that people believe that the "MAGIC" is supposed to happen is just to much for me. I can go on to say that I thought I'd be bitter about the break-up of my relationship with my sons mom but I'm not. The last 8 months of dating has me far bitter than the break-up of the aforementioned relationship. Maybe it's the fact that I've been in relationships the majority of my adult life that i'm (now) clueless as to how one is supposed to truly "date". Maybe I expect things to happen that aren't supposed to happen because there's no "label" given to the other party. Labels, monikers of exclusitivity (yes, i made up a word), seem to be driven to appease the curiosity and satiate the satisfaction of everyone that has no bearing or input on the relationship in question.

I'm at a point where I feel like my hands are tied. I'm going to focus my attention and energy on things that have immediate benefits because affairs and matters of the heart are just to much to bare at the moment.

*goes back into hiding and into spending countless hours with his son*

~fin

Things You see in Atlanta Traffic

2009-06-13T15:05:00.000-04:00

Investigate before you date.....if only mo' people did that, then the world would be a better place.

Poison...

2009-06-13T15:01:00.001-04:00

One of these two things will be the slow death of me....either that or a jealous woman (c) My Pops.

HAPPY "BE NICE TO UGLY PEOPLE" DAY 6/12/09

2009-06-12T09:52:00.001-04:00

Yep, Good Ol' Kae has decided that the time has come for all of us decent lookin' people to be extra nice to the not.so.attractive.members of society.

Therefore starting now until 11:59 pm EST, I want each and every one of you to be nice to the UGLY people that you come in contact with. Make them feel happy.

If you're at McDonalds or the Waffle House and you're being served by a guttermunch, don't ball up your face in disgust, flirt with'em. be nice to 'em. Lay it on thick. Hell you'll make them feel better about themselves and you might just get a free sammich or sumshit out of it all.

Go out amongst the world and find an UGLY person to befriend today. It's your call and duty.

and if you so happen to suddenly discover that there's a shitload of people being nice to you today....don't worry about it, you're just ugly. Things will return back to normal tomorrow.

Love,

the notorious k.a.e.

The Blog is going.....

2009-06-04T12:17:00.002-04:00

Mobile.

I've decided that in order to update more and to show y'all the enormous amount of ran.dumb bullsh*t that I encounter in any given day that I'll start snapping pics from my phone and make mobile updates.

*cheers to a new beginning*

~fin

The Notorious k.a.e

The way to a mans heart...

2009-06-04T12:11:00.000-04:00

She was cooking me a meal...

*swoons*

I thought that model had been discontinued...apparently they were just on back order.

~fin

Ok..so i'm on my own jock.

2009-06-04T12:05:00.000-04:00

The shirt and tie combination was on point yesterday...i felt uber-handsome and by chance and mere circumstance i shaved.

*this will be the last posting of myself in pics for months to come*

~fin

Guess Who's Back?

2009-06-04T11:42:00.002-04:00

You summa'phuckas thought i had deserted you didnt ya?..

I've been roughing it lately...moved across town to familiar stomping grounds...now i'm all yours again.

Stay tuned.

~fin

2009-04-30T18:14:00.001-04:00

* thru the windows of my eyes..everyone can see the loneliness inside of me (c) Love Dont Live Here Anymore -Rose Royce*

I am beginning to believe that all my years of being a social recluse have finally started to take a sad and damaging toll on various aspects of my life.

The lonely existance that I once enjoyed has become a prison in and of itself. How does one go about making new friends @ age 33? Meeting woman to be involved with is difficult enough but acquiring and keeping new friends is an ardous task with 10 x the intensity.

But rest assured, this problem will only remain in my life a tad bit longer...i think part of my issue is that I live on a side of town in which i dont personally know a single soul. Next month i'll be moving closer to my job as well as to the very city that I grew up in. (Marietta GA, stand up!).

With the advent of Facebook, I have reluctantly been able to rekindle relationship with people i either lost contact with or simply tried to all out forget altogether...lol.

A new start? Maybe so. Or is it a means to tie up unresolved ends to troubling factions of my life? Who knows....

All i can say is that i now have the desire and means to make a change....
~fin

I'm still alive...

2009-04-30T06:08:00.002-04:00

I'm still alive...but damn if it's not rough. I've been sick every since i last updated this here blog. I think I caught the PORKRIND FLU (tm). HA!

Anyway things have gotten better and i'll be updating with more episodic events of my troubled and humorous life very soon.

~fin

Sha Boogie's Sunday Sexstick Slipcover Showdown pt 3

2009-04-18T13:45:00.003-04:00

The mini series finale of our girl Sha Boogie and her experiences at the local 7-11 *adapted from her blog entry www.theradleyfiles.wordpress.com

Sha Boogie's Sunday Sexstick Slipcover Showdown pt 2

2009-04-18T13:42:00.001-04:00

The 2nd part of our girl Sha Boogie and her experiences at the local 7-11 *adapted from her blog entry www.theradleyfiles.wordpress.com

Sha Boogie's Sunday Sexstick Slipcover Showdown pt 1

2009-04-18T13:06:00.001-04:00

The 1st part of our girl Sha Boogie and her experiences at the local 7-11 *adapted from her blog entry www.theradleyfiles.wordpress.com

the unfabulous life of kae Williams (episode 3)

2009-04-18T10:29:00.000-04:00

the unfabulous life of kae Williams (episode 2)

2009-04-17T10:00:00.000-04:00

the unfabulous life of kae Williams (episode 1)

2009-04-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

DO YOU GOT MO' HOES THAN ME? ..THE NOTORIOUS k.a.e (AKA BIGGIE DRAWS)

L*ve is....

2009-04-15T16:40:00.008-04:00

*In keeping with this weeks love them...i've included something i wrote a while ago...i'm not sure how clear it conveys to anyone other than myself but this'll have to do as an entry until i find something more creative to blog about...*

LOVE IS LIKE LOOKING AT THE SUN. CONCENTRATE ON IT TOO LONG AND YOU'LL BECOME BLIND TO EVERYTHING AROUND YOU. LOOK AWAY FOR A QUICK SECOND AND YOU'RE LEFT SHEDDING TEARS.

LOVE WHILE FUN, HAS ITS UP AND DOWN. ITS INS AND OUTS.VALLEY AND PEAKS.HIGHS AND LOWS. THE LOWS MAKE YOU MISS THE HIGHS. THE HIGHS MAKE YOU FORGET THE BITTERNESS ANGUISH AND ANGER OF LOVE FROM THE PAST.

LOVE WITHOUT TRUST IS JUST PASSIONLESS SEX. TWO BODIES INTERTWINED FOR A FEW SHEER MINUTES UNTIL ONE OR BOTH PARTIES ARE SPENT.THEN IT JUST BECOMES TO PEOPLE IN A BED WITH THEIR BACKS TO ONE ANOTHER.

LOVE IS WHAT LOVE IS...YOU CAN'T MAKE IT. IT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU SAY...IT'S SOMETHING THAT YOU SHOW. NOT ALL LOVE INVOLVES HUGS, KISSES OR OUTRIGHT DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. LOVE IS FELT. LOVE IS KNOWN.

YOU REALIZE THIS WHEN YOU'RE ALONE.

~fin

THE PURSUIT OF...

2009-04-13T07:10:00.005-04:00

L*VE (edited to protect my heart)

THE CHASE.THE THRILL.THE 90 DAY INITIATION PERIOD.THE BACK AND FORTH.THE UNNECESSARY DRAMA.THE PHONE TAG. THE INSTANT MESSAGES.THE TEXT MESSAGES. THE STARRY-EYED STARES. THE CONSTANT EMAILS. THE INDECISIVENESS OF CHOOSING A LOCATION FOR DINNER. THE "I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY'', FOLLOWED BY THE EVERY FIVE-MINUTE VOICEMAILS ASKING "WHERE ARE YOU". THE IF YOU DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE AT 10 PM, MEANS YOU'RE WIH SOMEONE ELSE ACCUSATIONS. THE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW SWEARING YOU SEE THEIR CAR DRIVE PAST YOUR HOUSE AT 10:15 PM....ALL SUCK.

YET, I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO BE A PART OF THIS LIFE CYCLE...

~FIN

Look up...in the sky...it's superdad....

2009-04-07T16:22:00.002-04:00

So i'm getting to a point in my life where i finally feel like a man. Not just a man in age..but a man in action. If any of y'all are close to me offline then you know that my son's mom and I parted ways (many moons ago) due to things that i won't further mention here because it'll add turmoil to my life should my words make it to the wrong avenues at this time. Just know that I'm in the process of making the bond that she and i share...totally mine. She's made some very poor and irrational life decisions as of recently and as a result I feel it necessary for me to step into harms path before the wrong person (y'all know who) gets hurt and i'm not around to save him as my fatherly duties dictate that I should.

*pulls cape from beneath his shirt, and flies off into the cold brisk night sky*

sorry gang...no Chopin Vodka tonight. Can't risk the vulnerability to my super powers quite yet...custody issues for a single dad are krypronite in theory.

When boredom arises....

2009-04-01T17:25:00.003-04:00

Below is an actual letter i wrote to the people @ twitter.com because i'm trying to increase my internet celebrity by garnering self promo-deals with twitter and Chopin Vodka. I just found out about the Twitter Wingman device and thought if muhphuckan Shaq can get one then so can good Ol' kae Williams. So what if i'm not 7'feet tall...i'm me got'dammit.

Dear Folks at Twitter,

I think it would be great if you could assist me/help extend my impending internet celebrity status by allowing me to beta test the Twitter Wingman with the likes of real celebrities such as Shaquille O'neal and others.

I come from an impoverished background and I never received christmas gifts at the orphanage that my alcoholic and angel dust addicted parents dropped me off at in the late 70's. So getting the opportunity to engage in the twitter sensation of beta testing the Wingman would make up for years of not being allowed to play in any reindeer games as a young child.

I just recently came from the doctor and was told that i only have about 40 more years to live....and with such a short life expectancy i think it would be the greatest thing on earth to test out your new device.

What say you? Wouldn't it mean a lot to you and your company to grant the wishes of 33 year old african american man from humble beginnings whose last dying wish is to simply beta test your product? I mean I'm dying anyway, so if by chance the device emmits some sort of radioactive/harmful frequency type toxins wouldn't you want me to be the test subject?
Sincerely,

Kae Williams

untitled (a fool in love)

2009-03-26T15:14:00.004-04:00

who does she think she is, captivating all my thoughts like she has?
Not the most beautiful girl in the world...but she's the finest I've ever seen!
She's everything I want...I'm nothing that she even needs.
I call there's no answer..she texts me 30 seconds later sayin' she'll hit me back. I check my phone to see if it's still on. That anticipated call never comes.

I feel played...yet i yearn for even the slightest hint of attention regardless of how negative and self damning it may be to my soul.

who does she think she is, captivating all my thoughts like she has?
How can I be with others and only to imagine that they are her?

How can i convince her that i'm "THE ONE"...when I can't even convince myself.

Who does the think she is, captivating all my thoughts like she has?

I like her smile, i like her warmth...yet she pushes me away.
I pace. Back.Forth.To.And.Fro.
I'd go where she asked. as long as it was her asking.

I want her in my life...but she doesn't need me in hers.
She's social. Just not social enough to be with me.

i yell for her attention. She gives me the cold shoulder.
False promises. False hope.

I talk about her all the time. Yet, she's never met anyone that I know.
Maybe she doesn't exist. Maybe I've be alone too long. My fantasies have marred my reality.
I'd give an hour of time just to be in a minute of hers.
but my desires, along with my hearts' enternal fire are extiguished by her cold demeanor.

My sarcasm does nothing to her strong psyche.
I'm weak in her presence.
My loud voice becomes a whisper. My heart moans loudly, but comes across as a whimper.

Who does she think she is captiviating all my thoughts like she has?
I delete her number from my phone only to look at my bill online in hopes of coming across it again.

I'm a player that can't win. Can't win for losing. But I'm tired of playing. I'm too old for games.
And love is a game that i'll forfeit for the right person...but with her I can't even get on the roster.
She eventually calls me to go out to dinner....even though i just ate, I tag along and order vodka after vodka because i can't muster up the sober courage to tell her how i feel. she disregards my heartfelt emotions as drunken banter and laughs...We giggle in unison...only, I chuckle to mask the pain.

Love is pain. Pain is love. But does it have to hurt so deep? I thought falling in love was supposed to be fun...and even. Why does this feel like a one way street. My heart torn gps is sending me to Heartbreak Hotel and all the rooms are vacant. It's a one sided afair. She's right here and not knowing my heart is over there....

trampled.

hurt.

confused.

abused and feeling used.

i drop her off. i don't even go in....for what, dissappointment?
I hop in the car and every love song that's on makes me hate the ride home.
I shower and then i cower and glance at my phone.
i dial my voice mail to see if it's even on.
no missed calls. no texts. no thank you for the evening's meal...

this can't be life. this so isn't what's right.... this can't be real.

Who does she think she is captiviating all my thoughts like she has?

a few days later I man up. I decide to get myself together and purge her from my life, my thoughts....

4 days without a thought of her... she calls.
I make up an excuse that my phone reset and deleted all my numbers.
i'm not only a fool...i'm foolishly acting dumber.
She wants to go out. Says she hasn't seen me in a while and that she misses me.
the cycle of rejection repeats itself.

Who does she think she is captiviating all my thoughts like she has?

Promises...Promises.

2009-02-27T23:29:00.004-05:00

All of my OKP fam knows what this post is about...if i promised you an album...here you go.

Lingy..you wanted Joi ...here yo go Amoeba Cleansing Syndrome

Jimi, here's Total's first joint

Media Noche here's "Ambushed"

About to catch the red eye flight.

2009-02-16T12:12:00.003-05:00

She said she wanted to see me and I said I might/

Okay so I'm not really catching a red eye flight to anywhere on this green earth...I'm sitting here at the doctor's office awaiting my diagnosis of what I already know I have *cue theme music*…………………PINK EYE.

Yes, for the second time in a year, yours truly has become the proud recipient of conjunctivitis aka the inflamed cornea, aka greenish gook and optic toxins aka "oh sh*t muhphucka why's yo eye lid all droopy and your eyes bloodshot-stay-away-from-me". It seems that I only get sick and what not when I'm off of work. How in the livingphuck am I s'pose to enjoy my days off from work when I'm blessed with some unfortunate ailment that always seems to correct itself on the very day that I have to go back to work? (how's that for fate?, I get sick on the weekends and holidays and by some twist of the gravitational pull of the universe I am 100% functional by the next business day.

*Mr. Johnson, I know you're punishing me for something that I've done in my childhood or possibly young adult stage in life. I accept it but do you think we can work on another form of punishment in the future? This is beginning to grow a lil' old and being that you're God and all, I'm sure you have many more creative means of punishing a fine
young specimen of human DNA such as myself...so for the remainder of 2009 lets make that your New Years Resolution towards the way you treat me this year. You God Johnson being of sound body and mind hereby honor the pledge to punish me kae Williams in a more fitting way from here on out*

TWO HOURS LATER FROM THE INITIAL START OF THIS ENTRY (gotta love this EEE PC netbook laptop for its portability if nothing else)

I am now sitting at Jiffy Lube (in all of my pink eye gory and glory).It's obvious that my eyes are the color of Satan's sweat pants because the lil' Indian dude behind the counter is giving me the "side eye" and lookin' at me like I have the plague or the very least like im about to rob the joint of all of it's old magazines, car brake brochures and oil filters. Yeah, muhphucka get a grip… all I want is an oil change……Speaking of which---When did the $19.99 oil change become $40 phuckin' dollars. Gas is down and apparently so should the oil prices be as well. I understand a little inflation due to the economy. I'll pay $26.99 or whatever never but to go from $20 to double that is what I call financial rape. WHAT.KINDA.FUCKERY.IS.THIS? © Amy Winehouse. I should spread my very attractive pink eye to every muhphucka in this place that OKAY'D such a monetary travesty to transpire. Now they saying I need my transmission flushed and filled……sounds like y'all trying to say that you wanna flush out my pockets and fill me with even more costly dick… So this is how it feels to get phucked and not bust a nut. I almost feel bad for all of the times I was with ladies and I rushed to get mine off and didn't worry about them. ( Then again no I don't. I gave y'all the best 4 minutes and 34.5 seconds of my sexual life…I don't know what kinda marathon phuckin' you're used to but that should be well enough time for y'all to cum to a shivering orgasm... and if it isn't then you need to practice on working to completion quicker. HA!)

So here i am out in public with pinkeye, wearing my prescription skrenf Jay-Z psuedo-nerd/Woody Allen type Ray-Bans looking nothing less than someone fit to be quarantined and holed up in some far off island for lepers and legionnaires disease victims. There's a cute girl sitting dead across from me but I dare not say anything to her in my awful state of visual disarray. While it's apparent that I have the potential to be cute, I wouldn't dare mush up on anyone lookin' like I've smoked left over remnants of the crack pipe. This is life and this is the life that my dear savior God Johnson has puppeteered for me to live.

Until next time kids..best wishes and happy phuckin travels. *wipes infected eyes and rubs hands along the inside of your computer screen*

~fin

Happy Belated Balemtymez Day.

2009-02-15T09:20:00.003-05:00

*ebonics will likely run rampant in this entry*

Hope this finds you supposed and alleged lovebirds in good health and fine fashion….phuck that no I don't. Bah humbug on some ol' Ebenezer Scrooge type shit. Love is what you make it and fittingly so I'm not making any (love) and therefore this whole valentines day spill just sickens me and throws me further into the downward social spiral that we refer to as "playerdom".

There was once a time in life where I enjoyed spending that one day with someone and making them smile. Then I came to my senses and took control of my finances. (Romance without Finance is a Nuisance © Some old adage often uttered by the women in my family). Yeah, I could easily go out & spend countless dollars on candy, flowers and teddy bears but for what? By the time I do all of that I'm probably tired of the "chase" and if we're not phuckin' by this time, we sure as damn well better be by the close of the evening. (I wish I could say I'm kidding about this but I'm not). Gone are the days where I will spend countless hours, days, and dollars in vaginal pursuits. Is we gone cut or not should be apparent within our first few moments together. You know whether or not you want the pipe and I know whether or not I wanna give it to you. We's adults and should act accordingly. What's with the "CAT-AND-MOUSE-I'M-TRYING-TO-BE-INNOCENT-AND-NOT-GIVE-IN-TO-MY-CARNAL-DESIRES-AND-PHUCK-YOU-IMMEDIATELY-EVEN-THOUGH-MY-PANTYDRAWS-ARE-WET-AND-YOUR-SWEAT-PANTS-ARE-BULGING "game?

Initially I was on track to have a rather outstanding Valentines Day but sadly tension, attitudes, and pent up sexual frustrations from earlier in the week carried over and put a rather horrendous damper on yesterday's events. * i interrupt this entry to go on a total and useless tangent* I will say that even though the adults didn't enjoy the evening…..the kids did. So with that said since it didn't affect my son. I won't even go into further details and say that the day was a total lost. I will say I was disappointed that the tigers at the circus didn't turn on the trainers. The older I get the more morbid my wishful thinking becomes. There's 30,000 kids in attendance (one being my own) and here I am rooting for the phuckin tiger to go all animal kingdom-national geographic-animals-gone-wild(er) just to amuse me. (*checks self into mental clinic for evaluation). *tangent over*

Then it seems that out of the blue that all of the sad and sick single women that I know decided to hit me up on some last minute "what are you doing tonight, Kae" or "Care to see me later". Now where are all these women when I'm sitting at home alone and it's not V-Day? The things people will do in order to say that they did something on "LOVE DAY" never ceases to amaze me but sadly this time instead of me laughing at it, I'm caught off guard because I'm playing an active role in the whole SHITuation. I'm almost thankful that I have my son every Thursday thru Sunday and have a valid reason as to why I couldn't/shouldn't/wouldn't take any of these women up on their offers. ( okay, I am ½ lying. I wouldn't mind the horizontal naked dancing but I'm smart enough to realize that valentine day jump off sex would probably equate to the idea that "we got together" in the minds of many, so I'll refrain from participating in it with people in which I have no genuine interest.)

Well I'm glad that the day of parting pussystricken dudes and their money is behind me. Now we can focus on the bigger question…..Who is you phuckin tonight?

~fin

My Life In Song

2009-01-15T21:06:00.003-05:00

There's not a better song than Torrey Carter's "Insanity" to explain what the past few weeks have been for me. I really wish that I could go into detail about everything that's been going on…but I simply do not have the strength, energy or desire to rehash some of the petty arguments and consequential pain. So without further ado I present to you the soundtrack to for my past 30 days.

LISTEN TO *TORREY CARTER's "INSANITY *

~fin

Where the Hoes at? ...

2009-01-12T15:00:00.002-05:00

So i'm sitting here trying to embrace my newfound singledom and all i keep meeting is women who are on the downward decline of their looseness. Now it ain't nothing wrong with people become all moralistic and what not...but there is a problem when suddenly it appears that no one is (JUST) phuckin' no more.

Maybe it's just me? *looks in mirror* Nope..that ain't it. I'm still uberly cute and rather sexy if i do sayeth so myself.

How come every woman i've met in the past few weeks suddenly decided that after 4 kids, 3 paychecks and a partridge in a marijuana bush later that they ain't phucking?
Why's every woman now holier than thou and saving themselves for marriage?

You can't even go to a bar now-a-days and expect to have a one night stand...muhphuckas wanna stay the whole damn weekend.

I thought i had me a SideJawnJumpoffReplacement broad who approached me with the whole "phuckbuddy" situation...ffwd two weeks and now she calling me at 7 am on some "I just wanted to call and wish you a good day"...Dammit, we's just phuckin...why's u callin me for any reason other than "Is you coming to blow out my transmission tonight? or is you coming to beat the breaks off of me? We established the confines and definition of our dealings which pretty much is based on " U wanna Cum and I'm gonna come over". Simple as that. But now after said acts, you wanna watch tv and eat some butter cookies. Shawty, you's cute, fine and alladat, but that's not what i'm here for. I'm trying to get into you not *IN* to you. Save all that chit chat for your gay male friends or the negro outside waiting for you to finish gettin' your mall make-over at the MAC counter. I'm a backblowout specialist...that's what'chu hired me for and that's all i'm qualified and willing to do in your life. Don't be callin' askin' do i wanna come over and watch a movie. I don't like Lord Of The Rings. The only movies we should be watchin' should have actors with last names like Pumper, Jackme and shitnot. You know Mood Movies...

if you can't handle the truth and what i'm here for..then bounce. But don't be trying to establish a phuckbuddy thing and then renig(ger) on it. You can't alter me to get me to the altar. You talkin' 'bout "Kae, don't be catchin' no feelings and whatnot and then four days later i'm buttoning my pants and you layin' in the bed all glossy eyed saying "you know you ain't gotta leave".

FOH...

Where they hoes at?...

The Beginning of the End

2009-01-08T22:23:00.003-05:00

Sad as it is to say and admit the inevitable end of my relationship with the mother of my kids has arrived. While we had our ups and downs there are a lot of good memories that will forever stick with me. I'll miss her and in some ways wish that there were some manner in which to save what we had from the ill fate that we were so destined to achieve.

Not to go into great details but I will attribute the lot of our problems to financial issues. Simply put she wasn't happy with the honest real man lifestyle that I chose for myself and the kids and wanted an out to possibly live a short-lived run with the baller of the moment. (Okay so I made that up to appear like the victim but it sounds good, huh? ).....

Bitter? No. Hurt? Possibly. Concerned about the impact that our dragged on issues will have on my son and daughter? Most definitely. Those two kids are my any and everything. I'll go to the end of the world for the kids and not having them around is an emptiness that mere words cannot convey. In due time, I'm sure I'll get over the fact that she and I are no longer an item. Hell, I've accepted it already to be honest…but accepting it is one thing, still living in the house that you all shared brings about constant reminders that make it so hard to have complete closure. I'll admit that I loved her more than I loved anyone ever in life and because of that I kind of pushed her away because in loving her so much, I was scared to actually show her how much I loved her and built up a wall around myself because I knew eventually the one I loved would sooner or later hurt me. (I hate gut wrenching instincts). * She and I have had a break up of the same magnitude before but this was years ago and way before the birth of my son. We broke up for almost a year in 2k5.

Maybe we needed counseling but it takes 2 people to want that. ..Maybe we needed the Lord and prayer. Perhaps all we need is some time away from one another to prove to ourselves that there's nothing left in the world….Once can only hope. One can only imagine. I'm not holding my breath for anything more than extra air for my lungs. I'm tired. I've decided to put my burdens on the cross and walk thru whatever I'm being brought to and thru by faith. I simply don't have the fight or mental stamina to deal with the notion, idea or prospect of love or another relationship at the moment. My only fight is for my kids. As long as I am around them…I'm happy.

Now if I could just get everyone that knows my current condition to stop attempting to hook my up with women, I'd be alright. I just ended a six year relationship with my former fiancé and the mother of my 2 kids---let a muhphucka have a moment to breathe and some time to heal. Otherwise, I'll just be damaged and bitter for the next woman and resentfully carrying emotional baggage that serves no purpose or good for anyone. Plus who wants a muhphucka that fresh out of a relationship and on the proverbial "REBOUND"?

~Fin

Kae

Merry Chrimah and Happy Heineken...

2008-12-25T12:29:00.003-05:00

Happy effin' holidays to you all. Hope you're enjoying the foul evil spirits and attitudes that the holidays seem to breed and foster. ...

I spent the start of today opening, assembling and playing with the kids and their toys. Needless to say that i am rather spent and feel like i need something that resembles a nap. So just as soon as the effects of these morning beers wear off then I'll pop me an Ambien and see if Mr. Sandman will attempt to carry me off to my dream of dormancy.

The only other thing i accomplished was to fix this very Acer 4315 laptop that had a very severe screen flicker problem. I actually took this mug apart, fixed it and put it back together. The amazing thing about this whole thing is that i did not lose any screws or other parts....that's a rarity for me.

Well toodles B*tches. Happy Holidays.

kae

~fin~

Something I didn’t want to forget that I said.

2008-12-14T23:02:00.001-05:00

This is proof…

2008-12-14T22:55:00.001-05:00

Today is proof positive to all of my naysayers that do not believe that I write every day. I told y'all I blog EVERY DAY…I just keep a lot of it private due to the content or due to the mood I was in when I wrote it.

But never the less…enjoy the 3 updates that I made available for today. The chances of my blog being updated 3 times in one day ranks between slim and none of ever happening again.

I grew up in an era where...

2008-12-14T22:46:00.002-05:00

• Bugle Boy Jeans was a brand name
• Sodas didn't have an expiration date
• Where bike riding didn't require helmets
• A fist fight wasn't followed by a lawsuit. U either won or got'cho ass whooped and kept it moving.
• Rap music was fun and was broken down into regions.
• If you didn't like something..it was a matter of opinion and you weren't labeled as a '' hater''
• Where riding the bus was viewed as a mode of transportation and not seen as an indicator for economic hardship.
• Where $10 worth of gas used to getcha a full tank of gas.
• Where making it rain meant someones mom let us play with their water hose and sprinkler system.
• Where you liked cars cuz they truly where cool not because they had rims' and other shit that belongs in ya living room.
• Women looked liked women and men looked like men even those who didn't have a straight sexual orientation.
• Where black was beautiful and everyone was vying to validate themselves as socially acceptable by claiming some other longlost and forgotten trace of latin' asian or white ethnicity.
• Where Run was a rapper and not a reality show star
• Where MTV showed videos.
• Where personally knowing a crack head was a rarity not a normal occurrence.

To be Continued.

but i'm ~FIN~ for the moment.

Ella La’Donne

2008-12-14T22:34:00.002-05:00

Bye Bye Love

Tears of forgotten transgressions

Pain unknown

I don't think you understand how much I miss you.

The want to hold you. The desire to kiss you.

Bye bye. Love.

Never got the chance.

Never got to save the last dance.

Never got to understand what I didn't understand.

Bye bye love.

Cant cry.

Won't shed no tears.

Losing the only thing I loved.

The embodiment of all my fears.

Bye bye love.

I cherish the time we had.

Even the longest days now seem cut short.

Arguments oh so petty.

Heated words and sharp edged retorts.

Bye bye love.

One day at a time.

Still can't seem to heal.

6 yrs since I've seen you.

And it still doesn't feel real.

Bye bye love.

The only love.

My only love.

The reason why I love.

Bye bye love.

Remember me.

As I remember you.

Thoughts of happiness

are all I now view.

Bye bye love.

Bye bye.

Love….

Something’s are Best Left Unmentioned.

2008-12-14T14:15:00.003-05:00

I have issues and of course my issues are by no means greater or better than those of my audience but being that this is my blog, my issues for the moment are superior. So with that said, allow me to relay to you what my issue happens to be. *DRUMROLL* My issue is that I have a hard time keeping (myself) quiet when things bother me. So there's no better time than to give a rundown of all that bothers me. I present to you what I traditionally referred to as RanDUMBness.

I don't give two flying phucks about Oprah Winfrey and her 40 lbs weight gain. B*tch, you are a kazillionaire…that's all that matters to me. Love is blind and your money is green. Eat and be merry.
Brian Nichols got sentenced to 3 million, 400 hundred thousand and 48 days of life behind bars. Don't know if he thinks about it now but had he originally gone to trial with his original rape case, it's possible that he'd be out on parole right now. Dumb Phucka.
Jennifer Anniston is using every media outlet and publicity stunt to slander Angelina Jolie and make herself appear like the victim…..i really have nothing to say here being that I have a strange attraction to Ms. Anniston and want to put my splooge-tool in her orifices.
T-Boz from TLC is losing her house to foreclosure. While I don't wish this on anyone…it was rather foreseeable. I mean she already has one of the most well known celebrity bankruptcies in the world along with Left-Eye and Chili. I just don't understand that why, with all of the previous financial struggles, would you buy a home so lavish as a 10,000 sq foot abode when a modest $700,000 range home could have done the job. {If anyone knows the Atlanta housing market then you're aware that $700k can go a long way in regards to home purchasing.}
Plaxico Buress shot himself and now he's gonna be facing jail time…I shoot me and I gotta do a stretch on the rock.
Lil' buddy committed suicide via poppin' pills and puttin' it on a webcam for everyone to watch. Not sure how I feel about that as usually suicide is prefaced with signs/cries for help. His family wants to blame the internet for not being proactive where I believe that the signs were there all along and it's the parents who didn't see things until it all faded to black.
This Keyshia Cole album ain't ½ bad. I'm glad she's not going the route of sounding like everyone else and that she's trying to carve her own lane in this already flooded market. I'm not a fan but it is a rather decent and car riding worthy album. Not enough soul stirring songs on it though but it's still a quality listen.
Colin Powell could've very well been the first black president had he chosen to run. Ironically even though he was/is a lifelong Republican, he was backing and rooting for Obama.
I got the worse eczema flair up ever. And its like flaring up right on my elbow. Now my right elbow has this unsightly dry patch of skin. I'm about to exfoliate with some got'dayum sea salt when I hop in the shower.
Who in the living phuck gave Tyler Perry another sitcom? I sincerely need to get my sitcom scripted shopped to mainstream corporate America. ABC here I come. I can't be mad @ Tyler Perry's hustle (i.e. work ethics) for he's been cranking out material (however socially unnecessary it is) like a mad man behind a laptop. I just doubt his claims of his current show being the #1 rated sitcom in America…but then again there aren't any other African American sitcoms in production aside from "Everyone Hates Chris" and "The Game". (I purposely left out all programming on BET for a purpose. I wonder if *ANY* African Americans watch that horrid channel for anything more than 106& Park).
Ha! An Iraqi man threw a shoe @ President Bush during a press conference today. http://africa.reuters.com/world/news/usnTRE4BD1EX.html this could've been humorous had the shoe connected to its intended target.
I cleaned the kitchen floor w/ ammonia and bleach and the house smells so clean.
My DELL MINI aka my HACBOOK crashed and I haven't even thought of fixing it..i had Mac OS X Leopard running rather well on it….albeit the wifi wasn't working but a patch was in the works for that.
I think I'm viewed as rather successful in the hood because on my last visit one of the local drug dealers said that he'd front me some start up money if I was truly serious. I think he's trying to Murder Inc/ Irv Gotti me. On some federal money laundering bullshit. I told him that I was SKRAIT with the funding for the time being.
I'm struggling in life now that my personal accountant said that I can no longer patronize Starbucks unless it was on someone else's dime. So if anyone wants to help subsidize my (former) $12+ a day GRANDE SOY HAZELNUT LATTE WITH WHIPCREME…that's okay though because in doing so I'd have saved approx. $4k by this time in 2009 just be doing away w/ coffee.

To be continued.

~fin

Happy ThanksTakin and all of that...

2008-11-27T18:06:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving and what not... I'm writing to you from the land of quietness and migraine headaches. There's no holiday feast or festivities for I am at the very moment eating a soy hotdog, and chasing it with some Publix Brand Cream Soda (MMMM, GOOD !!). The kids are gone, the dog is sleep and all that noisy is this re-occurring showing of 8 Mile on VH1.

What sounds like a very horrific holiday has actually turned into a much needed day of peace and quiet.

Happy Holidays...buy me something when you hit the Black Friday Sales in the morning.

Don’t Be Fooled By the Packaging.

2008-11-23T09:23:00.002-05:00

Dear Nieces and Nephews ,

Your Uncle Fishgrease Fitzgerald Franklin III has stumbled upon what he believes is one of the funniest things to ever come across his pupils. Now to the commoner this wouldn't even be funny but to me it's hilarious. Now everyone that knows me in real life is aware of my love of watches and other time pieces…Well imagine my shock and the following laughter when I saw this article from Complex Magazine online http://www.complex.com/STYLE/Product-Guide/Watches/6223 . Sure it looks like 6 black watches and they're all great looking and all of that but to a person like me there's only 3. How is that so Fishgrease? Well I'll tell you. There's a Tissot. There's a Quicksilver and then …..wait for it…..there's 4 Fossils. You're probably saying that I only see one Fossil. Alas, my dear fly-by-night watch wearer, your beloved Adidas, Marc Jacobs and Emporio Armani timepieces are all Fossils. This is what you call accepted deception. I'm not saying it's wrong but it's not exactly what I'd expect to see in a magazine either. Essentially Fossil (who makes and owns some of the better lower end, middle ranking watch labels) is making a killing by stamping other boutique designer names onto their product. In business this is what you'd call a DREAM. You manufacture your same $90 product, stamp another name on it and mark it up by two and sometimes 3 times it's MSRP. This is marketing 101, Diversify your product. Give the consumer what they want even if they don't want it in your product.

*side bar* This is by no means an attack on Fossil for I simply love their products and to prove it 5 of those watches in that case are all manufactured by Fossil. The two that look alike but are different colors are Cartier but the rest of them from top to bottom are all Fossil Products. They include

Fossil
DKNY (yellow dial)
Zodiac (orange bezel)
Adidas (stainless steel)
Adidas (blue rubber band sports watch)

And of all the watches that I own (some 50 +) these fossil derivatives are probably the ones that I wear most often. So there's nothing wrong with the article, I just wish they'd have allowed someone who knew a little more about the diversity of brands to expand the recommended choices as opposed to what they offered in the publication. * end of sidebar*

~fin

I've Been Busy ....(doing nothing)

2008-11-16T09:16:00.007-05:00

I wish i could conjure up some big obnoxious tale as to why I haven't sat myself down and just updated this here blog of mine but as my usual life would dictate to the (internet) masses, I'm a big blob of laziness and false promises.

I have come up with a list of reasons as to why i have neglected you so.

TWITTER : As much as i wanted to write this little program off as a useless tool of social interaction it has been the source of countless keystrokes of entertainment.
Downloading Music. This should be no shock to any of you. I'm always in search of music but no search has been to the lengths of the now found HOLY GRAIL of posts past (aka Electrik Blue by Nicole Wray)
NANIWRIMO : Oh, i started strong on this mug right here..but as usual my attention span waned and my interest in having a brag-worthy manuscript all but diminished this year. I managed to write just shy of 10k words and then just quit. *note to self * YOU'RE A QUITTER *end of note to self*
E-Stalking. I've been trying to use the internet search engines to located the love of my life's address and other personal information. I never realized just how private Nia Long actually is. But that's alright baby, I know you're looking for me and it's only a matter of time before you give into my advances and allow me to massage your sexcushion.
Television. Yeah, totally unlike me but I've been getting my fair share of the finest ignorance that moving picture box has to offer. The Real Housewives of Atl, Keyshia Cole, Coolio and of course all things HGTV have been the mainstays of my viewing pleasure for most of the past few weeks.
Linux. I've been trying to teach myself the basics of this operating system to such a great rate of failure that its barely worth mentioning here but alas, this post is about why i haven't been blogging and for that reason fits ever so perfectly in this entry.
SEX. No, I haven't been getting any more than usual. I just think of it more and thus i search the internet in search of masturbation worthy porn. Sadly, this search has come up with very bland material as i've either a) see the clips before or b) I refuse to pay for a nut or rather I refuse to pay to download such sh*t.
Being Sick. I've been sick for about a week now and everytime I think i've shaken the damn thing another sympton of greater magnitude brings me back to reality and knocks me off my ass for another 3 or so days.
Chelsea Handler. Man, I love this broad and her show Chelsea Lately. She is everything that i am minus the big head and penis. (I think she likes black dudes though).
Chopin Vodka. Nothing more needs to be said about my love for Chopin and as of lately i've just been downloading music and sipping on the finest of mineral spirits. LOL

Fear not though, i'm going to do better...I promise but until then hit me up on twitter at http://twitter.com/Wooly_Ceasar

~fin

Dear Nieces and Nephews,

2008-11-01T22:37:00.001-04:00

Please forgive me but the next 30 days will be devoted for the National Novel Writing Month (aka Naniwrimo.org). So if I don't update like I should (Hell I ain't been doing it any how) please know that this annual contest is the reason why. In between writing on this project I'll attempt to fit in and find time to devote to my first literary love "the fishgrease project or whatever literary backdrop I've chosen to name this particular chronological scribe.

Love always,

kae Williams

2 mins & 19 secs of Bud Light Lime (beer) and Lunestra.

2008-11-01T22:25:00.001-04:00

This was written 45 mins in of poppin' a Lunestra tab and 4 beers in of a 6 pack…I'm phucked up and prolly knockin' on deaths door but hopefully it's not everywhere and then again..it's me so it's RAN.DUMB.NESS at it's finest.

Enjoy.

UNTITLED by Kae "FISHGREASE" Williams

I think I went about it wrong…

I should've never tried to walk with God.

I should've slowed down

And just tried to talk with God.

Softened by death

Ironically, thinking (that maybe) life is hard.

It all feels trife, trying to do right.

Soul bruised, (maybe) I'm emotionally scarred.

It's a different world

From where we come from.

Life is an unscripted sitcom

Even when shits the bomb

The shit is dumb.

I'm often amazed

that I'm annoyed by my younger days.

My past ways, the past Kae.

Love doesn't live here anymore.

I'm ready to cash in my chips.

But I won't settle for just any whore.

Trying to sell nickel for my thoughts,

A kiss is just a penny for.

I've seen dark drunken nights

And if life is right,

I pray That I see many more.

I promise y’all I’m coming back…..

2008-10-25T12:33:00.001-04:00

The Holy Grail...

2008-10-09T21:25:00.004-04:00

I don't know if i should be happy or if i should be sad...because i have found the one album that has eluded me for what has to have been at least 5 yrs. Now I have nothing to aspire to...nothing to look forward to logging on the internet to find. Mere readers of this blog don't understand the magnitude of this...there's probably one member of the "FAM" that will appreciate this as much as i am. I haven't heard the whole thing yet but even if it turns out to be a horrible album, it'll still be the greatest internet find of my life.

think of it like a dj digging in the crates lookin' for that one LP that he knows exists and yet can't find..well that's what my internet trolling for the past 60 months has become.

but here it is..Nicole Wray's Elektric Blue.

When Disasters Strikes...

2008-10-02T16:50:00.002-04:00

When disaster strikes,theres a great chance that i am close by to either witness the catastrophe as it happens or i am the actual victim of the said events.

Well low and behold due to my company depending on Uncle Sam to provide it with $85 billion and needing a way to pay off such a debt--theres talks (actually its fact around here) that my employer is selling off our division. This sale has nothing to do with our not being profitable for it is actually the total opposite. We're the only large entity under the company umbrella that made substantial profits in 2007 and so far 2008...and for that reason alone it only makes sense to sell us as we can garner the highest revenue to offset the loan.

With that said and done...all i can do is pray for a blessing that im still able to maintain and provode for my family...

Hope is not lost though..as i've learned in the past change is not always welcolmed but in the end such forced change usually ends up having favorable results.

~fin

Damn, I Found Nicole Wray and lost the world.

2008-09-13T12:48:00.001-04:00

Fret not my good peoples. I'm still here and believe it or not--- I am blogging damn near everyday but none of my writing has been worth making public. My life has become an abomination of total and absolute boredom and therefore I pledge and promise you all that I'm about to get out and join the OUTTERNET and find some things worth writing about, so that I can amuse myself and entertain you as well.

I think my first outing might be to go see that new Tyler Perry Movie "The Family That Preys". Not saying that I'm this big time T.P. fan because in my honest opinion his show on TBS could use some serious re-working but I do want to see this movie just to determine if the pre-release critic fueled hype is worth it. Plus it has that crazy Misery b*tch, Cathy Bates (sp.?) staring in it and any movie w/her dark psycho ass must be of some interest. *note to self* YOU WILL NOT PERUSE THE INTERNET IN SEARCH OF A TORRENT TO DOWNLOAD SAID MOVIE* end of note to self.

Well wish me luck and pray that I find something remotely worth blogging about as I attempt to venture outside the confines of my self made prison (i.e, the sofa and this laptop).

~fin

One step closer to the holy grail....

2008-09-01T11:12:00.002-04:00

It's only a matter of time before i find her unreleased 2nd album.

and when i do...i'm done downloading music for a minute.

Here's N.Wray's "LOVECHILD" ALBUM

1. Walk Right Up
2. If I Was Your Girlfriend
3. Destination
4. Forever
5. Thug Style feat. Peedi Crakk
6. Saturday Love
7. I Wanna Kiss You
8. So Sexy
9. Cloud Nine
10. Act A Fool
11. Where I'm From
12. This Love
13. Guns & Roses feat. Maino
14. Can't Get Out The Game feat. Beanie Sigel
14. Regrets [Bonus Track]
16. If I Was Your Girl (Remix) [Bonus Track] feat. N.O.R.E. & Peedi Crakk

get it here