I Spam Spammers (Pt. 3.2)

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Friday, December 4, 2009 11:24 PM

From: "Kae Williams" <phishgreese@yahoo.com>

To: bernardofori05@gmail.com

Bernard,
Its only by fate, that I'm a church fearing man or else I'd think that you were trying to scam me. I see this stuff on the news all the time but for some reason I feel that you're truly sincere in your responses to me and for that reason alone I want to help you out. I've was scammed a few years ago when I searched online for something to help me with my low sex drive and erectile disfunction and by chance I received an email from someone overseas and they sent me some pills that promised to increase my shaft length and girth...to my chagrin the only thing i received was a lighter bank account and some pills that increased my blood pressure...but since your proposition has nothing to do with anything that could affect my health, I'm more than eager to assist you.

I withheld the truth from you earlier and my reasons for doing so was to test your sincerity in our actions with one another. I lied about not having a checking account. I do have one but the only draw back is that the mother of my 4 kids is also on that account as an authorized user. She is on the account as per the ruling of our most recent child support court case. This child support judgment is reason alone as to why I am desperate to help you. I am currently paying more than $1100 a month for the care and support of those illegitimate and unwanted children of mine even though my documented income is only $2400 a month. These U.S. courts are crazy to believe that a man with as many hoes as myself can support himself and his sexual habits on $1300 a month. But that's neither here nor there, please send me all of the proper and necessary forms so that we can get the ball rolling and in turn become the millionaires that we're destined to be.

Kae Williams

Spamming the Spammer (ptIII)

This is Mr. Ofori's latest response in the Spam the Spammer Saga. How in the hell you make a $4 million dollar mistake and act like it isn't nothing?....


-----Original Message-----
From: bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, December 04, 2009 9:07 AM
To: Kae Williams
Subject: Re: THANKS.

You are so funny? anyway, I made a mistake at first by typing $7.5 million, it was a typographical errow, I intended to write $3.5 million, it was a mistake and no one is above mistake when it comes to writing.

Listen I am not here for joke, I really mean business, but if you are not ready to handle this with me, then you can let me know so that I can look for someone else, I am not going to send you anything money to open account because I don't have anything to send you, I have only secure this $3.5 million on escrow call account and I have no access to it as I have deposited it with no beneficiary name just for onward transfer and that is why I contacted you to stand and claim it as the beneficiary.

You can provide any bank information for a bank to bank transfer of this fund to your account, this is an international fund transfer and it requires a bank account for such transfer not a paypal account.

Right now I am not sure if you are serious, but if you are serious, kindly let me know so that I can istalled your informations into the account data of this fund so that the account will appear in your name, and I will also give you the application form immediately I haer from you which you will fill and contact my bank head office for the transfer of this fund to your account.

Let me hear from you

Bernard

I Spam Spammers (pt II)

Below is the 2nd part of the ongoing Spammer saga with Mr. Bernard Ofori. Unbeknownst to him the address and phone number that I gave him is actually for Ace Cash America…some check cashing joint down the road from my home. Happy reading!!! (remember read his email first before reading mine)

Re: THANKS.

...

Thu, December 3, 2009 8:08:24 PM

From:Kae Williams phishgreese@yahoo.com

To:bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>

---

Dear Mr. Ofori,
Man, I'm not reading all that. Let's cut the chase and get down to business. I don't have a checking account with any bank at the current moment but I do have a check cashing card account and a paypal account. I'd prefer that you put the money in my paypal account if possible If you need to contact me or send me something please do so at this address .

Kae Williams

2858 Delk Road
MARIETTA, GA 30067

(770) 952-6535

I suddenly feel as if you're trying to scam me because the first email you sent said that you were going to deposit 7.5 million dollars into my account and now you've reduced it to 3.5 million dollars. Now I've heard of taking a little off the top but man you're trying to stick me for my paper for the sum of about 4 million dollars. What the business is? Now I've heard of shady business practices but man you could've waited till my pants were down before you tried to fuck me raw dog style.  Due to your shrewd business practices and since you're in such of a dire need of my help, I'm asking for $365.90 to be paid in exactly 73 five dollar bills and 18 unmarked nickels. The unmarked nickels are essential because I've been tracked by the government before for running a snack machine scam and this time I don't want the nickels to get back to me.
Mr. Ofori...or since we're now 3 emails deep on this exchange, I feel at liberty to be able to call you Bernard since I seem to be the one in the power position as you need my account to  launder your Weezy F. Babies...(Ha, you like that don't cha? Weezy F, Young Money? Get it?...wait maybe you don't because you're probably in some prepaid internet cafe in the better part of Ghana while I'm stuck trying to reply to you on my phone...Do you know how hard it is to type on your cell phone? I'm not talking about one of those new cell phones either . I have a bag phone with a black and white screen and a pull out antenna. Sorry to bore you with the details of my deplorable living standards but I am just trying to relay to you how desperate I am for the whole 7.5 million dollars to be put into my account.
So hit me back with the $365.90 to let me know that you're serious and we can definitely do business. Once I get the money, I'll buy you a ticket and fly you out to GA and put you in my new guest house and we'll invite some bitches over and I'll show you how us Americans have a fun time.
Sincerely, your brother in the cause.
Kae Williams

---

From: bernard ofori <bernardofori05@gmail.com>
To: Kae Williams phishgreese@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu, December 3, 2009 6:07:17 AM
Subject: Re: THANKS.

Dear Mr.williams

Thanks for your kind and prompt reply to my proposal to you, be rest assured that this transaction is legally deposited and we are going to have a smooth transfer of this fund to your account as long as you stick on my instructions and guidelines, ones again, I really appreciate your willingness to assist in this transaction.

I'm the Regional Manager of International Commercial Bank of Ghana Ltd, as the regional manager of this  bank, it is my duty to send in a financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each bank business year.
During my 2008 financial report to my bank head office, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made three million five hundred thousand united state dollars($3,500,000.00) which my head office are not aware of and will never be aware of it,and I have placed this funds on escrow call account with no beneficiary name hence I decided to contact you to stand and claim the fund as the owner who made the deposit with my branch so that the bank will order the transfer to your account.
Meanwhile, the transfer of this fund will take place from my bank head office because that is where we have our international remittance department, so all you have to do is to apply for the transfer in my bank head office with the application form and the details of this fund which I will give to you immediately I hear from you to give me your assurance that you will not betray me in this transaction  because I would not want anything that will bridge this transaction on the way which might be as result of misunderstanding in this matter which I will not like and that is why I need your full assurance to proceed this transaction with you because I will not want anything that will stop this matter on the way because I can not afford to loose this fund, kindly ask any question which you might need clearification so that you can understand everything for us to proceed with one mind and full understanding to avoid any future arguement or mistake in this matter.
Like I told you, I contacted you because I can not be directly connected to this fund since I am still in service with this bank and we are not allowed to own such amount as civil servants or to operate a foreign account, so you can understand my position in this matter which is my main reason of contacting you to assist me to acheive this goal, your assistance is all I need to acheive this fund by standing as the real depositor and claim the fund from my bank since I will also guide you accordingly and provide to you all the necessary back up information of this fund which will authomatically empower you as the beneficiary of this fund.
I will also advise you to keep this transaction secret and confidential and that is all I need from you because I will not want any thing that will expose this transaction and you should not mention my name in my head office while dealing with them to avoid any question in my bank head office during the transfer, kindly get back to me so that I can explain this clear to you and to enable me give all information you will need after your proper understanding in this matter for me to give you all information you need to contact my bank head office for the transfer of this fund to your account, I will also install and configure your full name and address into the account data base of this fund  immediately I hear from you to make sure that everything to appeard in your name as the beneficiary and the depositor of this fund who made the deposite with my branch.

You should also send me your full details such as your full name and address including your direct phone number so that I can install them into the account data of this fund so that everything will appear in your name as the beneficiary.
Note that we have no much time to spend in this transaction because the transfer supposed to be completed within 4 banking days immediately you apply to my head office for transfer.
I am waiting to hear from you so that we can go over the details and proceed.

Mr.Bernard Ofori

I Spam Spammers in My Spare Time

 

This is what happens when you give a muhphucka like me an internet connection and an e-mail address. I do this sh*t all of the time when I have nothing better to do.  Read it from the bottom up.

 

 

Re: THANKS....

From:

Kae Williams <phishgreese@ymail.com

To:bernard.ofori05@gmail.com

---

Dear Bernard,

I would love to help you...do you think you could send me a $25 in U.S. currency so that I could open up a checking account. I currently only have a savings account and I'd need you to help me so that I can in turn help you? Let me know it this works out for you and I'll be glad to send you my address.
Sincerely,
your brother in the cause.

Kae Williams
phishgreese@ymail.com

"I've learned that it takes years to build up trust...and it only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it"

---

From: Mr Bernard Ofori <bernard@yahoo.com>
Sent: Tue, December 1, 2009 1:18:15 PM
Subject: THANKS.
Hello,i need your co-operation,
My name is Mr Bernard Ofori,
I wish to make a transfer involve $7.5m into your account. For subsequent investment of it in lucrative ventures in your country.
Please, if you are willing to assist kindly reply by stating your assurance and total commitment to handle this transaction,
Then I shall furnish you with the procedure to follow-up the transaction. As soon as you read, I will be expecting your timely response.
While replying please kindly include your telephone and Fax number for easy communication.
Please observe the utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this,
Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction. asap,
Regards,
Mr. Bernard Ofori

Conflicted…

 

*cues Musiq’s HALFCRAZY*

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you just wanted to give up everything that you have just to chase what you’ve always wanted/desired/dreamed about? I swear if it wasn’t for my world (aka my son) that I'd just up and leave this very state that I’ve convinced myself for the past 25 years I love.

My life, for lack of a better word, is mediocre. I have days of highs and lows and those that aren’t of either tend to be just that—an existence of mediocrity. Ironically, I have everything going for me. Granted things aren’t great but they aren’t totally bad either. I know things could be worse…but that’s just it, i know that they could be worse and I also know that they could be whole hell of a lot better. I’m existing for the purpose of making it to the very next day but with each approaching day I find myself further and further from the ultimate goal which is supposed to be HAPPINESS. What to do? …Do you just cast down your buckets and run away from it all and start anew? Or do you stand, fight and try to make the best of a seemingly mediocre situation?

I’m conflicted. My life as I know it has been turned upside down as of lately. Outside of my son, there’s really no reason for me to be in Georgia anymore. I’m beginning to have a love / hate relationship with all things Atlanta as of recently. I love it for the fact that I grew up here and I know the city like the back of my hand. Don’t move and get emotional all too quick… I hate Atlanta for that very same reason. I know too much about this great city.  There’s nothing new under the sun and there’s nothing of  new interest for me here either. 

What to do?

That seems to be the question at hand…2010 will definitely serve purpose and reveal answers.

This Makes Me Laugh....

I love this lil dude and all of his shenanigans. Apparently this is his first (AND ONLY) forray into thug culture and it's hilarious nonetheless.

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving.

Scooby Doo, Where are you? © Shaggy

I'm not sure where I've been….or where I am going. Life has been full of ups and downs as of recently. Maybe it's the approaching holidays. If you know me…then you know of my dislike for the impending holiday season. Friends and family get together to enjoy what should be a joyous occasion but by the time it is all said and done-the joys and smiles turn into drunken shouting matches of "you ain't shit" coupled with "you ain't never have my back when I was younger". Perhaps I'm jumping the gun. Surely this doesn't happen with every family, right? Maybe it's just mine. Needless to say that I'm not looking forward to it, to be honest I never have. This year is bound to be different in the aspect that instead of being around my dysfunctional miscreants of shared blood, I'll be in the presence of my girlfriends relatives. (Yes, you read that right; G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D !, that's a whole 'nother post in itself). So possibly this newness will finally allow me to enjoy some semblance of a holiday.

My dislike for Thanksgiving is only outweighed and overshadowed by my true abhorrence for Christmas. This is not to say that I don't like giving thanks to Jesus and all of that. I know the reason for the season. It's just over the years Christmas doesn't bring the same warm energy to my soul that it once did. Partial blame for this would be the fact that my grandmother died a few years ago on Christmas day (2002 to be exact). Time has enabled me to put a great deal of that pain aside and (I) try to enjoy Christmas for the sake of my 3 yr old son but there's some occult negativity that still lingers over and within me about that particular holiday. Some things are best left to their own understanding…and sadly, I don't understand why I can't get past it all.

The only thing that brings me some sort of short lived joy would be the fact that I usually accumulate enough vacation days by this time of year to really enjoy some time off. As tradition would have it, I'm taking off every Friday off from Black Friday until the end of the year. In addition, I'm also off the last two weeks of the year and the first 3 business days of 2010.

The greatest thing about the holiday season is the knowledge that 2009 is almost coming to a close. For that reason alone, I'm happy. Overall 2009 hasn't been the greatest year of my life. I will say that during all of the trials and tribulations of the past 12 months, I was able to discover some very unique qualities and traits about my character. Some of these traits were good, others?...well, not so much. Patience and tolerance have been my biggest learned attributes of the almost 365 days of 2009. I did learn how to do a lot (of sh*t) with a little bit (of money). This was a yr of no bonuses and no side hustles…If I've learned anything it's that I have to get on my grind in the upcoming year. I can't go living paycheck to paycheck and dwindling my once impressive savings account just to survive.

Oh well…..this is it for now. (Hell it's not like anyone is out there reading this….I'm to the point where I'm blogging for my own amusement and entertainment).

~fin