Something’s are Best Left Unmentioned.

I have issues and of course my issues are by no means greater or better than those of my audience but being that this is my blog, my issues for the moment are superior. So with that said, allow me to relay to you what my issue happens to be. *DRUMROLL* My issue is that I have a hard time keeping (myself) quiet when things bother me. So there's no better time than to give a rundown of all that bothers me. I present to you what I traditionally referred to as RanDUMBness.

1. I don't give two flying phucks about Oprah Winfrey and her 40 lbs weight gain. B*tch, you are a kazillionaire…that's all that matters to me. Love is blind and your money is green. Eat and be merry.
2. Brian Nichols got sentenced to 3 million, 400 hundred thousand and 48 days of life behind bars. Don't know if he thinks about it now but had he originally gone to trial with his original rape case, it's possible that he'd be out on parole right now. Dumb Phucka.
3. Jennifer Anniston is using every media outlet and publicity stunt to slander Angelina Jolie and make herself appear like the victim…..i really have nothing to say here being that I have a strange attraction to Ms. Anniston and want to put my splooge-tool in her orifices.
4. T-Boz from TLC is losing her house to foreclosure. While I don't wish this on anyone…it was rather foreseeable. I mean she already has one of the most well known celebrity bankruptcies in the world along with Left-Eye and Chili. I just don't understand that why, with all of the previous financial struggles, would you buy a home so lavish as a 10,000 sq foot abode when a modest $700,000 range home could have done the job. {If anyone knows the Atlanta housing market then you're aware that $700k can go a long way in regards to home purchasing.}
5. Plaxico Buress shot himself and now he's gonna be facing jail time…I shoot me and I gotta do a stretch on the rock.
6. Lil' buddy committed suicide via poppin' pills and puttin' it on a webcam for everyone to watch. Not sure how I feel about that as usually suicide is prefaced with signs/cries for help. His family wants to blame the internet for not being proactive where I believe that the signs were there all along and it's the parents who didn't see things until it all faded to black.
7. This Keyshia Cole album ain't ½ bad. I'm glad she's not going the route of sounding like everyone else and that she's trying to carve her own lane in this already flooded market. I'm not a fan but it is a rather decent and car riding worthy album. Not enough soul stirring songs on it though but it's still a quality listen.
8. Colin Powell could've very well been the first black president had he chosen to run. Ironically even though he was/is a lifelong Republican, he was backing and rooting for Obama.
9. I got the worse eczema flair up ever. And its like flaring up right on my elbow. Now my right elbow has this unsightly dry patch of skin. I'm about to exfoliate with some got'dayum sea salt when I hop in the shower.
10. Who in the living phuck gave Tyler Perry another sitcom? I sincerely need to get my sitcom scripted shopped to mainstream corporate America. ABC here I come. I can't be mad @ Tyler Perry's hustle (i.e. work ethics) for he's been cranking out material (however socially unnecessary it is) like a mad man behind a laptop. I just doubt his claims of his current show being the #1 rated sitcom in America…but then again there aren't any other African American sitcoms in production aside from "Everyone Hates Chris" and "The Game". (I purposely left out all programming on BET for a purpose. I wonder if *ANY* African Americans watch that horrid channel for anything more than 106& Park).
11. Ha! An Iraqi man threw a shoe @ President Bush during a press conference today. http://africa.reuters.com/world/news/usnTRE4BD1EX.html this could've been humorous had the shoe connected to its intended target.
12. I cleaned the kitchen floor w/ ammonia and bleach and the house smells so clean.
13. My DELL MINI aka my HACBOOK crashed and I haven't even thought of fixing it..i had Mac OS X Leopard running rather well on it….albeit the wifi wasn't working but a patch was in the works for that.
14. I think I'm viewed as rather successful in the hood because on my last visit one of the local drug dealers said that he'd front me some start up money if I was truly serious. I think he's trying to Murder Inc/ Irv Gotti me. On some federal money laundering bullshit. I told him that I was SKRAIT with the funding for the time being.
15. I'm struggling in life now that my personal accountant said that I can no longer patronize Starbucks unless it was on someone else's dime. So if anyone wants to help subsidize my (former) $12+ a day GRANDE SOY HAZELNUT LATTE WITH WHIPCREME…that's okay though because in doing so I'd have saved approx. $4k by this time in 2009 just be doing away w/ coffee.

To be continued.

~fin

Happy ThanksTakin and all of that...

Happy Thanksgiving and what not... I'm writing to you from the land of quietness and migraine headaches. There's no holiday feast or festivities for I am at the very moment eating a soy hotdog, and chasing it with some Publix Brand Cream Soda (MMMM, GOOD !!). The kids are gone, the dog is sleep and all that noisy is this re-occurring showing of 8 Mile on VH1.

What sounds like a very horrific holiday has actually turned into a much needed day of peace and quiet.

Happy Holidays...buy me something when you hit the Black Friday Sales in the morning.

Don’t Be Fooled By the Packaging.

Dear Nieces and Nephews ,

Your Uncle Fishgrease Fitzgerald Franklin III has stumbled upon what he believes is one of the funniest things to ever come across his pupils. Now to the commoner this wouldn't even be funny but to me it's hilarious. Now everyone that knows me in real life is aware of my love of watches and other time pieces…Well imagine my shock and the following laughter when I saw this article from Complex Magazine online http://www.complex.com/STYLE/Product-Guide/Watches/6223 . Sure it looks like 6 black watches and they're all great looking and all of that but to a person like me there's only 3. How is that so Fishgrease? Well I'll tell you. There's a Tissot. There's a Quicksilver and then …..wait for it…..there's 4 Fossils. You're probably saying that I only see one Fossil. Alas, my dear fly-by-night watch wearer, your beloved Adidas, Marc Jacobs and Emporio Armani timepieces are all Fossils. This is what you call accepted deception. I'm not saying it's wrong but it's not exactly what I'd expect to see in a magazine either. Essentially Fossil (who makes and owns some of the better lower end, middle ranking watch labels) is making a killing by stamping other boutique designer names onto their product. In business this is what you'd call a DREAM. You manufacture your same $90 product, stamp another name on it and mark it up by two and sometimes 3 times it's MSRP. This is marketing 101, Diversify your product. Give the consumer what they want even if they don't want it in your product.

*side bar* This is by no means an attack on Fossil for I simply love their products and to prove it 5 of those watches in that case are all manufactured by Fossil. The two that look alike but are different colors are Cartier but the rest of them from top to bottom are all Fossil Products. They include

• Fossil
  
• DKNY (yellow dial)
  
• Zodiac (orange bezel)
  
• Adidas (stainless steel)
  
• Adidas (blue rubber band sports watch)
  

And of all the watches that I own (some 50 +) these fossil derivatives are probably the ones that I wear most often. So there's nothing wrong with the article, I just wish they'd have allowed someone who knew a little more about the diversity of brands to expand the recommended choices as opposed to what they offered in the publication. * end of sidebar*

~fin

I've Been Busy ....(doing nothing)

I wish i could conjure up some big obnoxious tale as to why I haven't sat myself down and just updated this here blog of mine but as my usual life would dictate to the (internet) masses, I'm a big blob of laziness and false promises.

I have come up with a list of reasons as to why i have neglected you so.

1. TWITTER : As much as i wanted to write this little program off as a useless tool of social interaction it has been the source of countless keystrokes of entertainment.
2. Downloading Music. This should be no shock to any of you. I'm always in search of music but no search has been to the lengths of the now found HOLY GRAIL of posts past (aka Electrik Blue by Nicole Wray)
   
3. NANIWRIMO : Oh, i started strong on this mug right here..but as usual my attention span waned and my interest in having a brag-worthy manuscript all but diminished this year. I managed to write just shy of 10k words and then just quit. *note to self * YOU'RE A QUITTER *end of note to self*
   
4. E-Stalking. I've been trying to use the internet search engines to located the love of my life's address and other personal information. I never realized just how private Nia Long actually is. But that's alright baby, I know you're looking for me and it's only a matter of time before you give into my advances and allow me to massage your sexcushion.
   
5. Television. Yeah, totally unlike me but I've been getting my fair share of the finest ignorance that moving picture box has to offer. The Real Housewives of Atl, Keyshia Cole, Coolio and of course all things HGTV have been the mainstays of my viewing pleasure for most of the past few weeks.
6. Linux. I've been trying to teach myself the basics of this operating system to such a great rate of failure that its barely worth mentioning here but alas, this post is about why i haven't been blogging and for that reason fits ever so perfectly in this entry.
   
7. SEX. No, I haven't been getting any more than usual. I just think of it more and thus i search the internet in search of masturbation worthy porn. Sadly, this search has come up with very bland material as i've either a) see the clips before or b) I refuse to pay for a nut or rather I refuse to pay to download such sh*t.
   
8. Being Sick. I've been sick for about a week now and everytime I think i've shaken the damn thing another sympton of greater magnitude brings me back to reality and knocks me off my ass for another 3 or so days.
9. Chelsea Handler. Man, I love this broad and her show Chelsea Lately. She is everything that i am minus the big head and penis. (I think she likes black dudes though).
   
10. Chopin Vodka. Nothing more needs to be said about my love for Chopin and as of lately i've just been downloading music and sipping on the finest of mineral spirits. LOL
    

Fear not though, i'm going to do better...I promise but until then hit me up on twitter at http://twitter.com/Wooly_Ceasar


~fin

Dear Nieces and Nephews,

Please forgive me but the next 30 days will be devoted for the National Novel Writing Month (aka Naniwrimo.org). So if I don't update like I should (Hell I ain't been doing it any how) please know that this annual contest is the reason why. In between writing on this project I'll attempt to fit in and find time to devote to my first literary love "the fishgrease project or whatever literary backdrop I've chosen to name this particular chronological scribe.

 

Love always,

kae Williams

2 mins & 19 secs of Bud Light Lime (beer) and Lunestra.

This was written 45 mins in of poppin' a Lunestra tab and 4 beers in of a 6 pack…I'm phucked up and prolly knockin' on deaths door but hopefully it's not everywhere and then again..it's me so it's RAN.DUMB.NESS at it's finest.

 

Enjoy.

 

UNTITLED by Kae "FISHGREASE" Williams

 

I think I went about it wrong…

I should've never tried to walk with God.

I should've slowed down

And just tried to talk with God.

 

Softened by death

Ironically, thinking (that maybe) life is hard.

It all feels trife, trying to do right.

Soul bruised, (maybe) I'm emotionally scarred.

 

It's a different world

From where we come from.

Life is an unscripted sitcom

Even when shits the bomb

The shit is dumb.

 

I'm often amazed

that I'm annoyed by my younger days.

My past ways, the past Kae.

 

Love doesn't live here anymore.

I'm ready to cash in my chips.

But I won't settle for just any whore.

Trying to sell nickel for my thoughts,

A kiss is just a penny for.

I've seen dark drunken nights

And if life is right,

I pray That I see many more.

I promise y’all I’m coming back…..