Today's entry was plagiarized from one of my old blogs...I found the subject fitting considering that I had unannounced house guests this past weekend at the GreasyMansion.
Ahh, House guests, company, and the likes. One really doesn’t know the inviolability of their home until others come and invade their space. This past weekend my girl and I welcomed members of her family into our home for the weekend. (well I really didn’t do much “welcoming” but since we share a home and I knew I’d be able to use this as leverage in a later argument, I just let it occur without much of a squabble).
It should be written law that anyone who stays in the house of another for a period of 3 days (72 hrs) or more should have to pay a utility or something. My grandmother used to say that both company and fish begin to stink after 3 days and I believe that she is more than right on the matter. By the second day, the homeowner is a wits end trying to accommodate the needs of their houseguest. It’s almost as if you’re a prisoner to the people you’ve invited into your home.
All of that “ can I get’cha anything” has relatively gone to sh*t by the 36th hour of their visit. You’ve realized by that time that the air conditioner hasn’t stopped running in 34 hours because of the additional body heat. You also realize that you’ve suddenly gone from consuming name brand soda’s like Coke and Pepsi to some generic off the wall brand called DR.Thunder and some other label that’s red and white that simply says “cola” along the front. I’m still in an uproar because one of this weekend’s guest had the audacity to consume my ginger ale…Anyone that knows me is aware that I’ve cut out all caffeine from my diet and ginger ale is my carbonated beverage of choice. Needless to say that by the time I articulated my frustrations about my stolen ginger ale, my voice was hoarse and parched from both dehydration and yelling.
If any of you ever decide to have house guests you may as well make sure that they don’t have children older than 16 years old. One of our houseguest this weekend was 17 years old and didn’t have the mindset for much of anything. Now don’t get me wrong I love my lil’ uninformed brethren to all extent and I make it a personal goal to spread a lil’ bit of my ignorant knowledge to each and everyone of them but some of these lil’ muhphuckas can’t be or don’t want to be saved. Simply put, I can throw you a life preserver but dammit I can’t make you grab hold of it. Overall, I’d like to believe that i’m one of the biggest rap fans of all time (well in my opinion) but trying to tell a 17 year old black male that there’s more to life than Cassidy, Busta Rhymes and whoever else is chart topping at the moment is rather difficult. * I pray that I wasn’t of the same rhyme spitting image of youth that reared itself in my abode this weekend. * But nevertheless, Christopher Wallace damaged modern day thinking by saying that you either “rap/sell rocks/ or you have a wicked jumpshot” to get out the hood. Too many of our youth really believe this. I bet you lil’ dude couldn’t even tell me any of the current events that are plaguing our country at the moment but he can recite every top 40 Hip Hop hit.
And then next youhave that one houseguest from hell that knows everything in the world except that they could’ve stayed in a hotel. I don’t care if you’ve been going to church since Noah docked on dry land….that don’t make you any more Christian than moi? I don’t care if you stopped smokin’ in the summer of 1942, you’re not as healthy as I am. (I don’t eat meat nor smoke). I don’t give a rats ass that you think Binladen is working down the street at the Panamanian Meat Patty processing plant..if the FBI/CIA ain’t busted the joint’s door down, your words are mere fodder to the humor recepticles in my mind.
Lastly, If I’m forced to give up my precious living room NBA FINAL PLAYOFF sofa position so that y’all can chuckle and kee-hee about shit of lil’ importance, it’s time for y’all to take your stank,broke asses home….
**shows y’all the door. **
