When boredom arises....

Below is an actual letter i wrote to the people @ twitter.com because i'm trying to increase my internet celebrity by garnering self promo-deals with twitter and Chopin Vodka. I just found out about the Twitter Wingman device and thought if muhphuckan Shaq can get one then so can good Ol' kae Williams. So what if i'm not 7'feet tall...i'm me got'dammit.

Dear Folks at Twitter,

I think it would be great if you could assist me/help extend my impending internet celebrity status by allowing me to beta test the Twitter Wingman with the likes of real celebrities such as Shaquille O'neal and others.

I come from an impoverished background and I never received christmas gifts at the orphanage that my alcoholic and angel dust addicted parents dropped me off at in the late 70's. So getting the opportunity to engage in the twitter sensation of beta testing the Wingman would make up for years of not being allowed to play in any reindeer games as a young child.

I just recently came from the doctor and was told that i only have about 40 more years to live....and with such a short life expectancy i think it would be the greatest thing on earth to test out your new device.

What say you? Wouldn't it mean a lot to you and your company to grant the wishes of 33 year old african american man from humble beginnings whose last dying wish is to simply beta test your product? I mean I'm dying anyway, so if by chance the device emmits some sort of radioactive/harmful frequency type toxins wouldn't you want me to be the test subject?
Sincerely,

Kae Williams