This is likely going to be a post filled with an unambitious amount of ran.dumb.ness. I guess I'll number it so that it'll be easier for the masses to keep up with the numerous changes in topics.
My mind is racing....blame it on the prescription drugs, the alcoholic beverages and the serene sounds that are permeating through my head. To counteract the confusion, i've decided to number my thoughts so that you can keep up with each change in topic. Hold on and brace yourself for the ride.
- It's 10:55 am on July 5th, 2009 and I'm on my 2nd beer. This is a clear indicator of the downward spiral that the last few hours (scratch that, the last few days) have presented to me.
- I unknowingly kicked her to the curb...for a few days of personal solace and me time. We've tried talkin' on the phone since the "break-up" emails that we both sent to one another's place of employment but the convo's seemed forced and contrived in nature. It's a tad short of a month since we even crossed paths and from the looks of it all it doesn't seem probable that we ever will again. *Sidenote* (how sad is it to send such correspondence to your work addy? Now our inner-most thoughts and feelings about one another are available for the nosy eyes and general scrutiny of our respective I.T. Depts) *end of side note*
- I feel like I'm trapped in a horrible yet entertaining spinoff of Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman". My son's mom is playing the role of the dude, and I'm playing the role of the bad black Woman" (in reverse roles of course). She's recently suffered some medical mishaps and as fate would have it, I'm the only one she feels she can depend on. Each moment that I'm around her, i realize just how wrong she and I were for each other. Karma is indeed a b*tch...and sadly i have no room for either in my life.
- I've been occupying my time in the company of random people...only to discover what I already know. I enjoy my own company.
- My new saying for 2009 is that " if you're not complimenting me, you're hating"....I'm ballin' on a budget and from a distance it might just appear that i'm stuntin. Hate me now (C) Nas and Diddy.
- My son is in love with one of my friends....how funny is that? At least I know he likes women. *whew
- Only 6 people know where I live....none of them being my son's mom or my sisters.
- I've been in my apartment a tad bit shy of two months and still have yet to change my address with the post office.
- Beer #3. (Tip, I'm now officially drinkin' your half of the case now...you leave me near and you'll grieve for your beer)
- I'm either havin' the worse migraine ever imaginable or I have some sudden brain tumor that only subsides once I've hit my daily threshold of 6 beers.....phuck, I only need 3 more to reach that plateau.
- I am serious about enjoying 21 day relationships for the remainder of the summer...who knows maybe one of those 3 week flings will prosper into something meaningful.
- My little sister lost her job and swore me to secrecy to not tell her dad....(BTW, he's also my dad).
- I stopped takin' the steriods for my polyps....not on doctor's orders either. It's likely not going to be a good outcome but i'm tired of poppin' pills.
- I am very much a loner...my only constant interaction with family happens to be with the very one i assisted in creating (aka my son aka Wooly Bully aka THE GOOCH)
- I miss my best friend....she has not gone anywhere, we just had kids and those responsibilities supersede our friendship duties.
- I like this new Maxwell album. Either my music choices have changed or I'm just in a totally different mode/mood these days altogether.
- I keep dealing with someone who's detrimental to my health. They won't cause me physical harm but the mental ramifications will likely be horrible. Must.cut.them.out.of.my.life.immediately. The constant push and pull, shove and tug of our interactions is what makes it all so alluring.
- I'm still scribing away at the book that I set the unattainable goal of finishing this past April 15...I could have completed it then but i wasn't happy with the direction, nor with my writing style or tone...so I scrapped the initial draft and started over from square one.
- www.apartmenttherapy.com takes a great portion of my free time.
- Toaster Strudels and Beer aren't a very probable combination but they go surprising well together. Who'd have ever thunk it?
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