30 MANLY THINGS YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPERIENCE FOR YOURSELF CUZ I DID IT FOR YOU.

It has taken me a lifetime to realize some of this sh*t...I'm passin' it on so you don't have to.

conjured up by yours truly.

~ love always,

Uncle Fishgrease Fitzgerald Franklin III

1. Your tie should never extend past the top ½ of your belt buck. Nor should it be higher than your navel. Ties don’t have to match the shirt. They are meant to compliment the suit and or pants.
2. Plan “B” should never be anything less than a 6 pack of beer and a night of ESPN/Sport Center. if your plan B doesn't result in bringing about a feeling of peace and quiet, You need to think hard and possibly re-tool your plan "A"
3. Never kiss the jump off.
4. Shine your shoes after every 3rd wearing.
5. T-shirts (undershirts) should fit snug underneath your dress shirts to avoid the undershirt bulge.
6. Parties, Cookouts, housewarmings…..when in doubt what to bring? Bring Beer. Regardless of how snobbish guests may appear, 90% of the time everyone will consume either Heineken or Bud. You can never go wrong showing up with one of these two brands. One is a foreign staple and the other is the domestic staple.
7. Your favorite ringtone should be VIBRATE. Use it and get use to it.
8. You should have 2 dishes (recipes) lodged into memory and the proper wine pairings for each.
9. Generally your socks should match your pants and not your shoes. The opposite goes when dressing casual or for working out.
10. When wearing baggy jeans, a slimmer shirt is necessary as to avoid the Missy Elliott trash bag video effect.
11. All men should own 3 watches. An atheletic watch for wearing during sporty occasions or when wearing tees/polo shirts. A casual watch with a leather band. And a watch with a metal band for dressier suit and tie occasions.
12. Watch the local news at least once a day and CNN or some other national news channel at least 3 times a week to stay abreast on the world around you.
13. Own the album “KIND OF BLUE”. If you don’t know who this is by or what kind of album this is, you’re already losing in life.
14. Know the name of a non-chain restaurant and have at least eaten there twice.
15. Know the names of the 5 closest streets to your house. You should also put to memory how many red lights, stop signs and turns there are on the last mile of the exact street you live on. This comes in handy for the first time she’s coming to your home.
16. Know who you’re voting for in the election and why.
17. Chivalry isn’t dead…it’s just underappreciated.
18. A well-mannered clean dressed and good smelling ugly dude pulls more woman than the arrogant pretty dude. Take notes and apply it to your lifestyle.
19. Clean toilets speak volumes when having female company.
20. Febreze, an open window, clean sheets and a vacuumed floor can go a long way.
21. Iron button down shirts on the inside to avoid poppin’ off/loosening the buttons with the iron.
22. Magazines should not be your sole choice of reading materials.
23. If at any heated moment you have to go more than 3 feet to retrieve a condom…you’ve lost.
24. Treat every situation in life as if it’s a business deal. Leave no stone unturned. Always Be Closing. (ABC’s)
25. Quality trumps Quantity (everytime).
26. Grey Slacks. Brown Shoes. Try it.
27. Drink enough to enjoy it…but not enough to forget it.
28. Talk to her as if you like her. Look at her as if you lust for her. Treat her as if you love her. The rest is in the bag.
29. Think vividly, speak quietly, and tread lightly. Nothing in life will pass you by if you slow down and live a little.
30. A well structured budget is created to help you enjoy and achieve the meaning ful goals of life…not keep you from it.

~fin