Com Sense Survival Tips. How to live and stay breavin..

*i'm plagarizing from the one forum that i post on...i wrote this entry there and was too lazy to come up with new shit so i copied and pasted it here* Self Plagarization is the new crime of 2008*



I love each and everyone of y'all and i keep readin' post about how y'all unexpectantly end up in harms way so in order for me to keep gettin' material for my sitcom, i need to keep readin' y'all post therefore i've come up with a few survival tips so that i can continue to be entertained by y'all.

yours truly,

Greasy F. Baby (the "F" stands for Follow these Tips)


1. If you’re in earshot of a muhphucka and he/she/them says “Y’all better not be here when I come back !!”…Don’t be.

2. If you hear gunshots …get low and start crying.Don't be tryin to gauge what kinda gun the muphucka has and count the shots to see if they done ran outta bullets. This ain't a flick you ain't gonna come back on..you ain't dat strong (C) DMX

3. (Women) stop running on those isolated running trails…Phuck’s wrong with joggin’ around a high school track or ya basement treadmill?. Y’all always gotta be in the woods or on some deserted ass road. If the mountain lions don’t kill you, the crazy white dude in the beat-up painters van will.

4. Don’t drink and drive fast. If you’ gonna drink and drive take unwinding backroads with speed limits under 45 mpg.

5. When approached by the boys in blue…keep your hands up until you pass out. Don’t reach for sh*t; if they want’cho ID they’ll go in your pockets and get it at the same time they plant the crack rocks and guns on you.

6. A running cow carries a whole hide © My momma. If you see a disturbance, don’t interfere…get the phuck on.

7. Innocent bystanders always seem to get shot or are in harms way. My question is—If you know the muhphucka is crazy and shit is about to pop off…why is you standing by? How innocent is it if you see shit ‘bout to transpire? K.I.M.

8. If you’re a suburbanite and you know that you don’t belong on MLK, Jr Drive (err’city got one) or on the other side of the railroad tracks. TAKE.YO.ASS.HOME. Ain’t no historical sites in the hood. Phuck around and there will be a teddy bear memorial and candlelight vigil in your honor? *sidebar* Why do muhphucka pile up teddy bears and shit in the spot where a muhphucka get shot at? What happens to the bears after the fact? Does anyone go outside and cover ‘em with trash bags in case it rains? *end of side bar*

9. If you see a domestic dispute…realize that it aint’cho problem. Call the Po-po’s or what ever u call the gun toting badge holder…I seent a dude get his head smashed in by trying to play Super-Cap’n-Save-A-Broad-From-Getting-Kilt. This muhphucka started out by helpin’ ol’ girl as she was getting molly-wopped by her her dude. Do you know this broad jumped on the dude saving her because he was whooping her man’s ass? WTF? Nacho pussy Nacho Problem © CRICHMONKEY

10. Don’t yell at no one elses bad ass kids. Parents don’t even wanna hear your side of the story. (I might be guilty of this myself. You phuck’round and scare my kids, I am liable to knock on ya door with a .38)

*bonus*

If you see a group of kids/teenagers that look like they ain’t got nothing to lose. Guess what? They prolly don’t. I’m convinced that all saggy pants wearin’, fake gold chain sportin’, cornroll wearing kid over the age of 13 years and 3 days old, have quick access to a biscuit and ain’t scared to give you a 2 piece. I watch First 48 faithfully and know that these lil’ phuckas will shoot you just because you was minding your business and wasn’t paying attention to theirs. What I (just) wrote doesn’t make sense does it?…well guess what? Their reasoning for shootin’ yo ass makes even less sense cause well they’re 13 yrs old and ain’t go no parents so they’re being raised by their 43 yr old great great grandmother whose a recovering crack addict who forgot she had the gun in her sock drawer. And sadly, you wanna cause some type of disturbance by politely askin’ the 13 year old to move out the way so that you can back your car out of YOUR drive way. Now the muhphucka done lifted his XXXL shirt dress and reached into his denim capris and pulled out a burner and popped’chu cuz you won’t payin attention to him walkin’ in yo grass and thru yo rose bushes in his route to get to nowhere of importance. Leave these lil’ muhphuckas alone. They'll kill you dead.


Feel free to add on...I mean its for survivals sake.